A home away from home: Friends of International Students marks 25 years

Last week, the International Student and Scholar Services (ISSS) office hosted a reception marking 25 years of the Friends of International Students (FIS) Host Program — a quarter-century of fostering cross-cultural connections at Middlebury. The event brought together voices from across the program’s history, from its early organizers to longtime host families and current students. 

Kathy Foley, former executive director of FIS, traced the program’s origins to 2001, when she arrived at the college as an international student advisor. She recalled that the idea for the program came directly from students.

“Community building is important for a sense of belonging,” Foley said, noting that creating those connections was a central goal from the start.

The launch of the FIS program coincided with Middlebury’s first formal international student orientation. Early student-host matching was done by hand and tracked on paper throughout orientation week. As the program evolved, the matching process moved to fall family weekend — allowing more time for preparation and ensuring international students were not excluded from a weekend centered on family connection.

The program has since grown to include a wide range of hosts, from alumni and faculty to local community members. Some participate once, while others return year after year.

Lyn DeGraff, who has hosted students since the program’s early days, reflected on more than two decades of shared meals and lasting relationships. She recalled teaching students to ski, celebrating holidays together and offering support during difficult moments. Over time, those relationships have extended well beyond graduation and have met. She has met the spouses and children of her students, invited them to her daughter’s wedding, and hosted someone who came back to teach during J-term.

 “Whenever they come back, they are welcome,” DeGraff said.

DeGraff said the experience has been transformative for hosts as well.

“Being a host family allows people to become better listeners, communicators and more globally engaged,” she said. “It comes down to three things: knowledge, empathy and appreciation.”

Carolyn Dahm, who coordinated student-host matching, spoke to the generosity she has witnessed over the years. She described hosts preparing home-country meals for homesick students, opening their tables to friends and creating spaces filled with warmth and laughter.

“It’s the photos and stories from those moments that carry me through difficult days,” Dahm said. Some hosts, she added, reach out after taking time off to rejoin the program. “Keep me on your list for spring — I’ll be ready in a year.”

Students echoed the program’s impact. Munira Nurbhai ’28 said arriving at Middlebury felt uncertain at first, but having a host family helped her find a sense of belonging.

“They took me in as a daughter and never made me feel like a stranger,” Nurbhai said, emphasizing that connection does not require sameness.

For Anastasiia Demchenki ’28, the experience helped ease the challenges of adjusting to life abroad.

“Moving abroad is the biggest step in becoming an adult, yet it can make you feel most like a child,” Demchenki said. “Having a host family to guide you makes all the difference. Strangers become friends, and differences become strengths.”

Foley closed the event by reflecting on the program’s broader significance, particularly in today’s global climate.

“Community develops out of care and concern, and is about being vulnerable and curious,” Foley said. She described the relationships formed through the program as a form of “citizen diplomacy,” offering connection and understanding in uncertain times.

Over 25 years, the FIS Host Program has connected more than 1,200 students from 90 countries with host families across the region. More than a logistical pairing, the program is rooted in a simple premise: helping people feel known and welcomed. 

The FIS Host Program remains a central part of campus life and is open to international students each fall. Community members interested in becoming host families can contact the ISSS office for more information.