Regally Blonde Episode IV - A Dinner Party Guide

Author: Astri von Arbin Ahlander

In Sweden, even the most casual dinner parties with your closest friends entail seating arrangements. But in America, where the walking buffet and cocktail prevail, eyebrows are raised at me as soon as I suggest any form of organized seating. I'll point someone to their designated seat and they begin to mutter about their inalienable rights. How important is freedom of choice, really? You chose to come to the party, isn't that enough?

Arranged seating doesn't mean the affair is stuffy, it just means that the hosts have taken the opportunity to be in command of the "mix" of things. I recall many seating arrangements over which I have presided in my day. Whether it is the Tuesday evening get-together or the big birthday bash, pre-arranged seating allows for great social creativity, and control. That way, you can seat your cheery friend's oafish boyfriend next to someone else's homely sister, and wham! They can be oafish and homely together - at their designated end of the table. Not only did you save some other poor guy or girl the disdain of entertaining them for the night, you are also likely to have made an unexpectedly good pairing. Two bores often equal one mildly amusing time, as opposed to the mistake of one bore plus one talker which almost always equals one hell of a mistake. Similarly, you can play the empowered matchmaker by matching that same cheery friend with your stand-up comic buddy. By the end of the night, you may have mediated a much-needed break-up. To put it simply, seating arrangements allow you to pair people whom you believe would have a good time to ensure that the good time in fact happens.

Now that we're all sitting and conversing happily, let's move on to drinking. One great way to up the ante on a dragging dinner, or to blow the top off a rager, is the drinking song. A staple of many cultural heritages, the drinking song has not quite made it into the American party handbook. Why not? Is there any better way to create instant jolliness than through some well-chosen tones? As a Swede, I have a whole variety show's worth of drinking songs ingrained in me from early childhood. These songs are not only about drinking but also about being witty with words and sassy to your co-partiers.

At Middlebury, we have lots of competent socialites who I hereby challenge to organize a dinner party with arranged seating and the spice of a drinking song or two. Take a chance: invite an eclectic group of friends that don't usually mix and watch the magic happen after your guests settle into your carefully planned social constellations. Middlebury may be a small bubble where we all claim to know everyone else, but the truth is that cliques still prevail and a dinner party is a great way to make some new introductions.

I end by offering up a drinking song to kick off your festivities:

(To the tune of "Memory" from Cats):

Memory, I have lost all my memory/
Where has it gone to, tell me!/
I don't even know/
Memory, I have blackouts in memory/
Great big holes in my memory/
From too strong alcohol- SKÅL!
Drink up and enjoy your arranged dinner partner!