Loyal fans, I write to you from Jersey Mike’s sub shop in the beautiful Newark International Airport to report that something ‘glaurieous’ emerged from the pit of despair that was exam week. Like a phoenix, the car column rises out of the darkness of exams and into the glaurie of the light. If ...
Well here it is, the final issue of the semester. And just like that you no longer have time to do all of those things you said you were going to do. So much for getting your life together. The time is approaching to escape with your sanity, that remaining portion of your dignity and whatever a night ...
If you were to think of the most surefire way to make yourself look stupid what would it be? Answering a question wrong in class? Calling someone the wrong name? Pushing a pull door? Nope. Without a doubt it has to be opening the McCullough mailboxes. The McCullough mailbox locks have probably caused ...
White is black and black is white and everything becomes grey. No, this isn’t a riddle; this is just a description of many of my laundry experiences here at the College. I will admit that I’m pretty awful at doing laundry, but it must also be acknowledged that the laundry system here is just a tick ...
Someone needs to invite the producers of “Hoarders” to this campus. The hoarders? Us. What we hoard? Dining hall dishes. Good luck in pinpointing which student has the most extensive collection, some of which are impressive, to say the least. Many students own a complete set of dishes from every ...
Amazingly, it’s almost time for registration, and that can mean only one thing: you are going to have to use BannerWeb. I make fun of BannerWeb a lot, I’ll admit it, but this week it’s the star of the show. Seriously, BannerWeb is just the worst for so many reasons. How is it still a thing? Let’s ...
It has been 285 days since the College unveiled its new logo. Each and every one of those days could have been just a tad bit better if the new logo never existed. That’s 6,840 hours with a logo that looks like the College proudly unified with DeVry University to create one comprehensive institution. ...
“Are you doing points?” “Yes,” I robotically rattle off my ID number. Sick! I just got Panther Points! Wait … I’ve been here over two years and I still honestly have no clue what my Panther Points are good for. This isn’t necessarily a case of “how are they still a thing” so much as ...
Dear Ross, You are not a five star restaurant. It’s okay; we know and love you just the way you are. You don’t need to disguise the real you. Be free. There’s no need to hide behind fancy names or complicated ingredient lists. Let the real Ross shine: fry all the things, make pizzas best described ...
It’s Sunday and you decide that you’ve probably watched one too many episodes of Netflix and need to get some actual work done. If you stay in your room you’ll inevitably just end up succumbing to temptation, cracking open that bag of popcorn that you’ve been staring down all day and ripping ...