Letters to the editor D-Spot a sore one for men

Author: [no author name found]

To the Editor:

In reference to Dina Magaril's column ("The D-Spot", Oct. 9), there are some things I would like to hear her address in her next column. Mind games are something us men always attribute to women; I had not heard it the other way around. As for the seemingly mutual complaints about the opposite sex, people must get off their clouds at some point given that daunting (and terrifying) statistic that half of Midd alums marry another alum.

If the dating/relationship scene on campus troubles Ms. Magaril, then her concerns are legitimate and I would like to hear them. However, an unconstructive, generalizing, wholly negative criticism of men on campus will not help the situation. It does not help us men and it will not help the situation for women. It will only seek to discourage men more from mustering up the guts to ask a girl out on a date and fall back on the late-night "wanna watch a movie?" text. If we're so bad, help us become better. A few patronizing "do's and don'ts" does not do the trick. Did you really say "Don't: Tell a girl you're into her, may even love her, but aren't enough of man to be with her?"

I think a balanced examination of the dating scene here would be much more constructive, asking things like "why are women so scared of asking someone out on a date?" Isn't asking someone on a date supposed to be flattering and a way of saying "Hey you're interesting, and I'd like to get to know you better?" Why are there so many more strings attached?

I do wholeheartedly agree with Ms. Magaril on one point: Middlebury women are gorgeous and brilliant.

Sincerely,

Eric Harvey '09.5



To the Editor:

Dina Magaril's most recent column struck a deep nerve with me and many of my friends, male and female alike.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and whether or not they are as inflammatory as her's should be irrelevant. This said, I am sure that many women do share her gripes with the so-called "boys" on campus. However, I must reiterate what my fellow Y-chromosomes have echoed since the article's publication: the frustration is mutual, sister. The attempt to pinpoint blame so broadly on one gender is both biased and embarrassingly ignorant and denying that you have not done so would be a bold lie. Ironically (and sadly), I doubt that the hasty and condescending list of "do's and don'ts" you've composed will land you a date with a Middlebury (dare-I-say) man on campus.

In short, we all have a lot to work on. But please, do not call all of us cocky when we're not, please do not call us schleppy when we're not (I am half Jewish and consider myself more of a mensch), and please restrain yourself from doling out deconstructive criticism when discussing an issue as sensitive and difficult as dating or relationships.

I apologize if these comments are hurtful, for this is not my intent whatsoever. Yet I bet you are very well aware of how good it feels to get something off one's chest.

Sincerely,

Jeremy Martin '09.5



To the Editor:

For her next column, I would be interested to hear Ms. Magaril's thoughts on women taking initiative in the dating scene. Her column seemed to take a pretty traditional look at men chasing women, but not the other way around.

Also, for every woman complaining about the lack of suitable guys here, there is a man that I have talked to complaining about the dearth of suitable women. Maybe we all just need to get out of our ivory towers and realize some realistic standards.

Sincerely,

Sam Libby '09.5