Livin' the dream How to keep it fresh like Kanye West

Author: Dean Atyia

I sat down the other day at gate C something or the other in Los Angeles International Airport, mashed my earphones into their greasy cubbies and settled into the airport anonymity that we all know and love. As I debated whether or not to doze off, worried about the possibility of sleeping through the boarding call, I found myself unable to close my eyes even for just a moment. Not even the stunningly attractive female detective with the stereotypical flaw of over ambition resting within the pages of a recently purchased thriller could hold my attention.

I realized I was too excited to settle into anything because my thoughts were inching toward Middlebury. I couldn't wait to get back and explain what I've been up to in the last few months to infinite people, infinite times. I was looking forward to taking notes, getting the dreaded add/drop cards signed and hoping for the last space in an all-too-popular class for which I am no longer eligible. I thought about close friends returning from abroad, once again back to lure me into a false sense of popularity and self-confidence, as well as the sworn enemies boarding planes to God-knows-where, offering me a semester of dull and unguarded peace.

As if this positive anxiety weren't enough, a rather chilling thought crept up my chest: How long before this feverish optimism turns into a tired and clichÈ pulsing of negativity?

At the beginning of any semester, the wind feels like a well trained masseuse on the canvas of your back, and your lover's lips taste like a summer wine. As the days hobble on, however, the wind transforms into icy needles, and that person with whom you spent all your time is now accompanied by acidulousness on the tip of your tongue. I admit, I'm indulging a flair for the dramatic, but we can all concede that there does come a time, as the semester wears on, when our nerves tighten and a lull sets in.

I've been thinking about suggesting ways to combat the onslaught of wintered bitterness. For instance, I could list fun diversions around town and in Burlington, but then I realized that I'm not clever enough to write for Cosmopolitan, so I'll stick to my inferior and intellectually-lacking diatribe and give some mediocre advice the only way I know how.

As your mind aches, your nose drips, your libido rages and there lies no relief in sight, take solace, dear friend, for you are not alone. We all feel the effects of a strenuous academic lifestyle, coupled with the fact that our bodies are changing in ways we can't fully understand. Know that your misery has company. Wait, you ask, is there no other light at the end of the tunnel? Must we all treat our back to school bliss as a fleeting friend, or is there any way to stay positive throughout the humps of academia?

In short, there is no light at the end of the tunnel because you are already there, you foolish fool. When the blues start to get you down and your lunch is a shot of DayQuil and a cheese sandwich, remind yourself that you go to an elite and well-respected liberal arts school in the only state where it's not considered apathetic to be libertarian. Think about the fact that all your best friends live within walking distance, and in five years, you won't be able to get to the nearest cubicle on a road bike. Here, you never have to eat alone, but you can always find solitude at the top of the nearest hill. And hell, where else can you get free energy-saving light bulbs?

Dean Atyia '08.5 is from Memphis, Tenn.