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Thursday, May 23, 2024

Dennis Miller and His Pooched Humor

Author: Daniel Prepas Sports Editor

OK, so the Yankees won. For the seven people who read my vilification of the Yankees last week, I still stand by what I said. Let us end it at that. If you wish to retort to last week's article and try to make me look foolish, submit a column to The Campus. I'm sure the Sports Editor will be more than fair in deciding to publish your submission.

It was definitely a terrific weekend for sports. Yes, my fantasy football team is now 5-1 and in sole possession of first place but there are in fact more reasons to appreciate what's going on in the sports world. The first two games of the World Series will consist of pitching matchups of Curt Schilling vs. Mike Mussina and Randy Johnson vs. Roger Clemens. The thought sends chills down my spine.. No matter what team you are a fan of or hate, you gotta love those matchups. After a great weekend for the already crazy football season, Monday night's game was quite a dandy of a game.Needless to say, it was a fantastic game, capped off by a fabulous touchdown catch by Philadelphia's James Thrash, whose name ranks right up there with other great football names such as Priest Holmes, Dante Culpepper and Amani Toomer.

Watching the game with my friend who is a die-hard Eagles fan, I was forced to observe him shouting expletives I did not even knew existed for the first 58 minutes of the game. But what a turnaround it was. I mean, it seemed as though the Giants were on offense the entire game. The Eagles ran maybe seven plays in the first half. Seven! And yet the Giants were only up 9-0. Oh, but to see them lose 10-9 on a late touchdown was impressive, especially the way the Eagles shut down Michael Strahan on that last drive.

The only thing that really annoyed me was the way the announcers glorified Strahan the entire game. He definitely dominated the first half and much of the game, but anytime Regis Philbin comes on Monday Night Football and says, "I heard that Strahan character is pretty good," I get perturbed. It wasn't just that comment either.

Dan Fouts, Al Michaels and Dennis Miller would not stop glorifying Strahan. You would think by the end of the night that they wanted to bear his children. I guess that's what made the Eagles touchdown drive so great. Strahan was nowhere to be found.

And what about Dennis Miller? While he did have some of his traditional comments that are only understood by those with doctoral degrees in ancient Buddhist rhetoric, he definitely had some pretty sorry-ass jokes. I mean, he referred to a punt that was "pooched" (which I will not explain because I don't have the patience for your little mind) as a St. Bernard. If the American public really wanted to hear jokes like that than they should have hired me. I have got tons of jokes like that and nobody wants to hear them.

So in conclusion I am fully aware that my Assistant Sports Editor also wrote a column on the NFL. That is of no consequence to me. An article on pooched punts is much different than one on underdogs. That is all.