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I was praised for my “civility” after I disagreed with Dr. Peter Kreeft. Reality is more complicated.

“I believe in God, and the right to self-determination of transgender people. Do you see a contradiction in my beliefs? Can I still be a Christian?”This is the question I asked Dr. Peter Kreeft, a recent campus speaker who was invited by the Newman Catholic Club, and whose views I deeply disagree with. Dr. Kreeft, a professor of philosophy at Boston College, has recently become known for addressing “transgenderism” at Catholic forum events. His words attempt to portray trans people, and what they do with their own bodies, as repulsive and immoral.  For example, Kreeft has described gender transition as “surgical mutilation.” His personal website also showcases his opposition to gay marriage, the equality of women and men in the Church, feminism and abortion.My goal in engaging Dr. Kreeft was to engage with those attending the presentation by modeling an alternative to his bigotry. I often describe myself as a progressive Christian, and I see the unconditional uplifting of marginalized peoples as a central pillar of my faith. As a gender-nonconforming person, the exploration of my gender identity and my gradual liberation from shame has brought me closer to divine love, not separated me from it.Dr. Kreeft’s invitation undermined a Middlebury community in which transgender people are valued, respected and treated as equals. All difficult conversations require a baseline of mutual respect that Dr. Kreeft repeatedly failed to meet. During our exchange, Dr. Kreeft repeatedly questioned my cited statistics about the epidemic of violence against trans people — particularly Black and Indigenous trans people of color. He even went so far as to ask me why he hadn’t read about these murders in the Boston Globe — although the Globe published a list of murdered Black trans people just a few months ago.While I personally found Dr. Kreeft’s ignorance unsurprising, I found his resistance to new information to be genuinely irresponsible and shocking. When I told him that his presence on campus had made LGBTQ+ students feel unsafe, he scoffed at me. He then labeled trans-ness a “controversial issue” and asked: “Why should that controversial issue make you feel unsafe?” In resisting empirical facts and rebuffing my vulnerable and honest account of my community’s feelings, Dr. Kreeft proved himself unworthy of Middlebury’s academic environment, which prides itself on evidence and care.I know that Dr. Kreeft’s presentation will provoke yet another round of the free speech debate on campus. My personal feelings on the free speech debate are complicated. Before I came out — that is to say, before I publicly held a marginalized identity — I’d often wish that members of opposing groups on campus could just find a way to get along, or at least seek civil discussion. Today, I understand that however much some may complain about excessive “wokeness,” campus discourse is often tilted against the marginalized.If you’re skeptical of that last point, try thinking of it this way: In the current paradigm of academia, it can be easier to call into question the basic rights of a group of people — to make those rights “debatable” — than to consistently and actively humanize that group. Due to the very nature of the profession, it’s sometimes easier for academics to “deconstruct” the debate over trans rights into a series of arguments, philosophies or data sets than it is to affirm trans people’s fundamental humanity. This year, we’ve seen this attitude reflected in the anti-trans actions of state legislatures across the country.In practice, this deconstruction is aided by three factors: first, a reluctance to empathize; second, the weaponization of ignorance — I’ve never heard of that, and I think I’m well-informed, so how can you be right?; and third, an overreliance on hard, decontextualized “data” that too often reflects biased power relations and marginalization more than truth.All three of these deep flaws of intellect form the foundation of Dr. Kreeft’s anti-trans arguments. For example, when I told Kreeft that LGBTQ+ people were uneasy about his presence on campus, he refused to empathize with me. When Kreeft questioned my statistics on violence against transgender people, he attempted to weaponize his ignorance against me.The last of Kreeft’s argumentative flaws — his reliance on decontextualized “data” — requires a bit more recap from our conversation to explain. Kreeft’s introductory argument against trans people relied on a convenient separation between the body and the mind. According to Kreeft, “the only two possible solutions” for an individual uncomfortable with their gender “are either to change the mind or to change the body — which of those two is the more irreversible?” This is a convenient position easily disproved by the fact that the brain and body are deeply connected in ways we are just beginning to understand. Kreeft also conflated one’s sex chromosomes and the gender binary— another scientific “fact” that is actually far more nuanced (sex determination in humans is not a binary process).Both of these rhetorical points — just two in a patchy web Kreeft attempted to weave during our debate — derive their power from decontextualized, outdated assumptions. It’s clear to me that the only thing stringing that “data” together was ideology. Flaws in academic thought make it all too easy for bigots like Kreeft to prioritize such ideologies of supremacy over the truth of equality. We must demand, and commit ourselves to, a healthier relationship with evidence.But wait, I can hear some of you saying, aren’t many arguments in favor of trans rights intellectual in nature? Yes, some of the more academic arguments for trans-ness respond to the need to defend trans rights in a dehumanized setting. But trans people’s accounts of their experiences, and the positive outcomes of their being treated how they wish, should be evidence enough for what side is correct here.I won’t argue that Dr. Kreeft should have been barred from speaking; I don’t believe that. Rather, I wish he’d never been invited, that the Newman Catholic Club’s leadership had entertained the most basic of consideration for their LGBTQ+ peers. If we are going to exist in a community with one another, we all should put our best foot forward in inviting open-hearted, respectful speakers to campus — traits Dr. Kreeft did not display during his (virtual) time here. In practice, this means taking the time to properly vet speakers and asking them difficult questions. Are you willing to have your mind changed during your presentation? Will you bring your full and vulnerable self to the table in addition to your intellectual arguments?Finally, for those eager to criticize the backlash against Dr. Kreeft, I’d only ask that you take a moment to think about any marginalized identities you might hold and how you’d feel if a vocal opponent of your identity visited campus. Then proceed with your critique. You have a right to your opinion on this, and I have a right to mine.But next time this happens? If you want a civil, free exchange of ideas, choose your speaker carefully, and please pick a better candidate than Dr. Kreeft.

Giants Have Us In Their Books: Spring’s first faculty theater performance brings stories of change and growth

Think back to when you were younger, to a time when your creativity and imagination transported you into alternate worlds and transformed you into different versions of yourself. The childlike sense of wonder may be long gone, but fairytale daydreams have the lasting power to make difficult moments seem less daunting — even if just for a moment. The Middlebury College Department of Theatre’s production of “Giants Have Us in Their Books,” which ran from April 16 to April 18 both in person and online, transported its audience back to the fairytale stories of their childhood, while weaving in some of the harder things to deal with.  The play is a collection of short works written by two-time Obie Award winner José Rivera, the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar.  Rivera referred to the plays that comprise Act 1 as “the naïve plays,” stories which deliver realistic situations, like the trials of puberty and lying, with an air of lighthearted, fairytale-like wonder. Act 2 was a more sobering, introspective collection of short plays written by Rivera a decade later in 2017, and included timely topics like homelessness, grief and the effects of the  New York State’s 2011 Marriage Equality Law.  Associate Professor of Theatre and the department’s chair, Alex Draper, directed the performance.  “When it became clear that we were going to attempt to resume in-person performing this spring, Olga Sanchez Saltveit, who is directing our upcoming production of Branden Jacobs Jenkins’ “Everybody,” and I both began looking for plays that would honor our commitment to feature more underrepresented voices on our stages while also taking into account the considerable Covid-19 restrictions and their impact on how we can safely rehearse and perform” Draper said.  The faculty, cast and crew worked on “Giants Have Us in Their Books” through the difficulties that the pandemic has created for artists.  “[I] selected a group of plays that fit the talents of the cast, were joyous and slightly other-worldly, but that also spoke to issues that echoed beyond our immediate everyday lives,” Draper said. He explained that the plays were written in such a way that they could be rehearsed mostly in groups of two, and could be performed without actors overcrowding backstage areas and dressing rooms.  The curtain opened on a short scene called “Flowers.”  Lulu (Sara Massey ’23), a 12-year-old girl, begins the play with what looks like a pimple on her face, but the bump slowly grows into a tapestry of leaves and flowers all over her face and body: a metaphor for how, through puberty we are brought from adolescence to adulthood and taken over in ways we cannot control. “When it’s over you’re completely different, unrecognizable,” Massey said in her performance. Mostly though, we grow into better versions of ourselves with time, much like seeds transition to buds, which grow to become leaves. A short play, called "The Tiger in Central Park” closed out Act 1. This urbanized myth and parable for AIDS featured the supposed existence of a mythical beast: a human-by-day, tiger-by-night, reported to be strolling around Central Park. “[‘The Tiger in Central Park’] aimed to tackle sexuality and death, and establish a relationship between these two major aspects of human existence,” cast member Beck Barsanti ’23.5 said. “In my interpretation, sexuality and death were things that every character tried to control without fully understanding the implications of either one.” After the intermission, Act 2 opened on “Charlotte,” a scene set in a picturesque apartment. A homeless woman (Courtney Wright ’21.5 ) who does not want to be pitied, is taken in by a caring individual, and we see a verbal tug-of-war between the two. At last, the host, Felix (Masud Tyree Lewis ’22), expresses he had only hoped for Charlotte’s gratitude after he had helped her out of the rainy night, leaving the audience to wonder about the nature and sincerity of altruism.  The show concluded with “Lizzy,” a tense meal where two siblings address the passing of their mother, and “Paola and Andrea at the Altar of Words,” a reaction to the legalization of same sex marriage in New York State in 2011, shown through wedding vows.  “It was a joy to be able to share the plays with both live and virtual audiences,” Draper said of the performance. Looking ahead, he said,  “We have a busy spring lined up, with three of our majors presenting productions as their senior independent theses, and we close the season with Olga Sanchez Saltveit’s production of Everybody in and around Wright Theatre.”

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Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

What do you think of when you hear the phrase BDSM? How about kink? Maybe you think about handcuffs, feathers, role-play and Fifty Shades of Grey-type sex. Or maybe you think of Rihanna’s song “S&M,” and maybe now I’ve gotten that song stuck in your head. But I’m here to tell you the BDSM community is actually a large, diverse group of people — and BDSM and kink practices include a lot more than just handcuffs and blindfolds. The complex acronym itself holds a lot within it: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism and masochism.  So let’s start with the basics. A kink means anything related to sex or intimacy that is outside of intercourse between two monogamous partners. You can think of kinky sex as creative sex, or something that includes fantasies or nontraditional desires. BDSM represents a group of nontraditional (typically sex-based) behaviors that involve some sort of power dynamic. The most important things to know about BDSM are its four main principles of participation: caring, communication, consent and caution. A lot of the time, when we think of power and sex, we think of negative things, including violence. The BDSM community has reworked and reclaimed power in sexual contexts to promote playfulness, pleasure and — most importantly — communication. In the BDSM community and during kink play, deep, planned, specific and ongoing conversations about consent are critical. Part of the pleasure and excitement for some comes from all of the planning and talking and imagining beforehand about what might happen next. And as I always say: consent IS SEXY. Why am I talking about this? It's getting warmer, Covid vaccinations are on the rise, and pretty soon we’re going to see a lot of spring flings. Let’s say you meet up for a hookup (maybe you even downloaded Tinder after my last article ;) ) and find out your partner wants to engage in some kinky activities…what do you do? I always try to check in with my gut feelings. When my partner asked to tie me down to the bed, does my stomach drop because I was excited to try something new, repulsed by the idea or really turned on? Sometimes it's hard to distinguish our feelings and that's OK, as long as you continue to check in with yourself AND your partner(s). Try asking yourself if you’re ready to talk about the logistics of your BDSM practice and safewords, or if you’re interested in exploring some of your kinks — and check out some online videos about safe knots and materials for restraints. Trying something new with someone you trust can be fun and it can also help you understand what just isn’t your thing. So have FUN, kiddos — communicate, be creative and be informed! I did a little bit of digging and got some resources for y’all. Read up! The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino “Health Care Without Shame: a Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers” by Charles Moser “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” by Jay Wiseman “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities” by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams  “Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities” by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Sprott

Parton cuts STI testing for students without symptoms, exposure

Parton Center for Health and Wellness has temporarily cut its “Peace of Mind” sexually transmitted infections (STI) screening program, which previously allowed students to be screened for STIs without exhibiting symptoms. On-campus testing is now limited to students who have had a recent exposure or are exhibiting symptoms of an STI. Some students who have called to ask for Peace of Mind screenings have been unable to get tested and have felt shamed by Parton’s response to their request. The Vermont Department of Health labs that typically process most of Middlebury’s tests have converted their capacity to Covid-19 testing and are not running STI testing, according to Director of Health Services Sandy Robinson. Parton can send tests to Porter Medical Center, but a shortage of testing supplies and high costs have led Parton to prioritize symptomatic testing over regular screenings. Screening costs vary depending on a student’s health insurance. Common tests like gonorrhea and chlamydia cost $25 out-of-pocket if run through the VT Department of Health labs, but $222 if run through the Porter Hospital labs. The Gallagher Student Health Insurance provided through the college covers 90% of testing costs, but students on separate insurance or who do not want to use their parents’ insurance may see much higher costs. Parton’s website recommends that students get Peace of Mind testing every six months if they have multiple partners during that time, yet they do not offer it themselves anymore.  Several STIs — including HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes — can be infectious in people not showing symptoms. In the past, Peace of Mind testing was available to catch such asymptomatic cases.   Bethany* ’23.5 tried to get a preventative STI screening when she began seeing a new partner in the fall but was turned down because of limited testing supplies.  “I didn’t end up getting tested at Parton. After the call, I gave up on being tested because I don’t have a car or any access to other health facilities. I got tested as soon as I got home and everything was fine, but it would have been better for my peace of mind to be tested earlier,” Bethany said. Bethany said she would be happy to go back to Parton if testing was made available again, but the way her call was handled made her less comfortable than when she has been tested at her gynecologist in the past.  “I felt that Parton addressed me in an accusatory manner, almost shaming me for having unprotected sex,” Bethany said. When Avery* ’24 called Parton in late March for Peace of Mind STI testing, she was told Parton’s supply of STI tests was low due to a lack of funding and was denied a test.  Asymptomatic testing is available to students at Planned Parenthood in Middlebury, where Avery went after being turned away at Parton.  “No questions asked, [Planned Parenthood] offered to help me and set up an appointment. They even gave me a discount because I did not want to use my parents’ health insurance,” Avery said.  Claire* ’23 was able to get tested after explaining to staff that she had been encouraged to get a follow-up test for an STI she had been treated for several months earlier. She had no symptoms at the time, but was able to schedule the follow-up and described feeling supported by the staff member at her appointment. Still, Claire said there were flaws in the system.  “When you call to make an appointment, I honestly would rather not talk to the receptionist,” Claire said. “I had to talk to her about the context of my STI testing, and I would have rather done that virtually or through an appointment-making thing.”  She also had to fill out an online questionnaire — unlike past times she has gotten tested at Parton — asking her to list all of the different types of sexual activity she had engaged in, how many partners, and how much of it was protected versus unprotected, without knowing who at Parton would have access to the information. Claire said she felt more supported than she had at previous Peace of Mind screenings at Middlebury.  “In past experiences, the people I’ve dealt with were a little more judgemental, or, when I was getting Peace of Mind testing, asked me why I needed it,” Claire said.  Robinson said Parton and the Vermont Department of Health are concerned about the limited testing capacity, and that they look forward to returning to regular testing as soon as possible. *The names in this article are pseudonyms used to protect the privacy of students interviewed for this article.

Emma Cline’s “Daddy”: Taking control of controlling men

Author Emma Cline graduated from Middlebury in 2010 and received her MFA from Columbia University in 2013. Three years later, Penguin Random House published her first book, “The Girls,” with a striking $2 million advance in a three-book deal. The book follows teenage Evie in 1960s California, as she gets sucked into a cult based loosely on the Manson Family.  Cline was only 25 when “The Girls” was published, and she has already written two more books since. Her third and newest, “Daddy,” is a collection of short stories that explore relationships with fathers and older men (hence the book’s title, which cannot be read without a little discomfort), power-dynamics and the blurred lines of what it means to be a victim or a predator. Cline has an ability to slip into distinct voices for a short time and without much warning. Many of her stories center on intimate third-person perspectives of middle-aged or older men, often fathers, who have made mistakes in their lives. Cline does not give many details about the characters’ pasts, instead dropping us into the middle of their current lives and guiding us through how they think. In “What Can You Do with a General,” Cline hints that John, the story’s lead role, may have been an abusive father: his daughter flinches in the car as he reaches across her to the glove box, his wife locks him out of the house and he recalls a memory of him throwing food at his daughter when she wouldn’t eat. Now older and more tired, John mopes about, his anger “neutered.” In a post-#MeToo world, it might seem counterproductive to spend so much time with the minds of “neutered” men — so why does Cline do it?  Cline offers the reader intimate access to her characters’ minds without the subjectivity of a first-person narration, but any pity her stories’ subjects feel for themselves is not Cline’s attempt at demanding sympathy for them. Her portrayals do not defend these men or their actions, but they do not necessarily condemn nor “cancel” them either. Cline writes with a tone that echoes the haziness and granularity of these men’s lives as they unenthusiastically go through the motions post-“neutering.” She makes the characters seem hollow and distant from their own lives, and as I read, Cline left me feeling hollow too, often without sympathy.  In the few stories centered around women, Cline dips again into the topic of sex, making evident the effects of misogyny and the sexualization of women from a young age. “Marion,” a version of which Cline first wrote at Columbia, won The Paris Review’s Plimpton Prize in 2013. While it fits well into “Daddy’s” theme, this story stands out as the only first-person narrative. The protagonist periodically stays at her friend Marion’s house where Marion’s father, Bobby, kisses both girls on the mouth at night and often walks around the house naked. Cline establishes the uncomfortable and inappropriate family dynamic at Marion's house with nonjudgmental descriptions that make the reader wonder if these things even feel wrong to the narrator. She shows how Marion, barely a teenager, is already conditioned to aspire to be desirable to men. “This one’s real skinny, but her tits are big. Like me. Men love that,” Marion says. The girls even take nude photos, trying to imitate women from Playboy magazines. Cline doesn’t stop with the obvious indications of the girls’ warped perspectives on love and sex. She is able to insert sexual innuendos into any situation, highlighting  for the reader the uncomfortable sexualization of the young girls. When reading, I often wondered how men who relate to any of her characters would perceive her depictions of their thoughts and perspectives of the world. It is certainly interesting to look into the minds of those we do not quite understand or like, and in this case I do not think Cline gives these men power or sympathy. In some ways, Cline takes power away from them by embodying them and controlling their portrayals herself. “Daddy” is definitely worth the read if you are interested in the complexities and power-dynamics of human relationships, and Cline’s writing style is uniquely descriptive and haunting.  These stories do not leave the reader feeling good inside, and they pose questions that Cline is not intent on answering for us. Go in with a critical mind, and do not rush through it.  Let each story marinate as a stand-alone piece, but allow themes and connections between them bubble up along the way. 

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Sex Panther: Navigating Midd Tinder

We’ve all been there. Literally, all of us have been stuck quarantined in our rooms. It can get pretty boring. And lonely. So it is only natural to download Tinder, right? I mean, it’s a pandemic. If class is online, I guess my romantic life will be, too. Unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures. And maybe you tell yourself you’ll delete it later. You’re just curious to see who’s out there! Ok, great, we’ve justified it — f**k it, download. Time to set up your profile. Obviously you’re outdoorsy, so you gotta include a picture of yourself at the Snow Bowl, but you’re also chill, so definitely a picture at WOMP too. Cute pic at the Knoll? Done. Of course, gotta include a pic with one of the stress-buster puppies. Everyone loves a puppy pic, that’ll get ‘em to swipe right.  Now for the real fun: time to swipe. First person you run into is your old FYC. Yikes. They’re kinda cute, but would that be weird? Next person is “Jake, 22” from Dartmouth, followed by “Olivia, 19” from UVM. Unfortunately, those are out of Addison County. Swipe left. Maybe it’s time to shrink the distance. Next one: the guy who rang up your order in town yesterday. Well, it’s a start. After some swiping, you’ll probably match with someone at Midd. Great! Now, what do you message them? Well, there are always canned yet timely pickup lines: “if covid doesn’t take you out, can I?” “Can’t spell quarantine without ‘u r a qt’” and “Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” are great (bad?) places to start.  You could instead check out their profile and ask them a question related to their interests, or maybe offer a compliment! Also, there’s always the option to be straight up. This is Middlebury, after all, and chances are you’ve seen them around campus.They’ll likely be a friend of a friend anyway, or maybe they lived three doors down from you on Coffrin 4 orange. “Wait, were you in my first year seminar?”  When starting something new, especially on a dating app like Tinder, it’s a great idea to talk about expectations. Are you looking for a serious relationship, a friend to eat dinner with at Proc or just a hookup? Whatever it is, it’s important to be honest with yourself and the other person, even if your wants don’t match up. At the very least, they can be someone you whisper “hi” or flash a soft smile to when you see them studying in Davis. So you’ve been chatting, you’re on the same page and you decide to meet up. But what can you even do in these #unprecedented Covid times? Perhaps you can take a tour of Midd’s beautiful campus as the spring weather rolls in, or walk to Otter Creek for coffee and scones. You can also try FaceTiming your date to test the waters without worrying about Covid exposure. Outdoors or online are both perfect pandemic first-date venues. If that goes well, and you catch yourself daydreaming about them in your microeconomics class, it might be time for something a bit more… intimate. If you decide to meet up and suspect it may get physical, have a safety plan in mind. Ask yourself, do I have room in my close contacts? Do they? Am I comfortable being close contacts with them? Don’t forget about STI protection! Have some barrier methods on hand, like internal and external condoms (they’re free at Health Services!). Also, consider telling a trusted friend who you’re seeing and where you’re hanging out. Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but some safety insurance never hurts.   Midd’s Tinder scene is a two way street: maybe you’ll find a few new friends, or maybe you’ll have no luck at all! As hard as it is, remember that your self-worth isn’t defined by the direction of someone else’s swipe. Whatever happens, just have fun and stay safe. Years from now, you’ll be celebrating your 25th anniversary with your Marriage Pact match, and you’ll think back and laugh at your Tinder antics. Did my FYC really think I was cute? What’s the BevCo guy up to now? Did Laurie have a burner account to snoop on the student body? Soon enough this pandemic will be a distant memory, and included in it, those bored hours swiping. But for now, enjoy it! Swipe away, little kittens, and maybe we’ll match. ;)

MASK OFF, MIDD: The Politics of Romance

  When I was in high school, I gave a speech that killed my love life. Standing in front of hundreds of people, I told the story of how I was harassed by a middle-aged man on my flight back from Arizona; then, of how a couple of drunk guys in Boston asked my friends and me — all 14 at the time — to have some fun with them at their high-rise apartment; then, when I was on the subway and the entry-level financial analyst, dressed in a searsucker suit and reeking of cheap cologne, pointed to me and whispered to his friend, “I’d f*ck her any damn day of the week.”  Knees locked and sweat seeping through my pores, I uncovered the stories that had injected caution into my veins, the reason I could memorize license plates in seconds and, after working night shifts as a server, walked back to my shabby car with my keys between my fingers.  During my allotted eight minutes, a time that seemed both endless and ephemeral, I brought women’s rights, sexism and rape culture to the limelight. It was a conversation that had been avoided at my conservative school, an institution that lacked a sex education program and hadn’t even bothered to teach the word “consent.”  In my case, talk was not cheap — I spent whatever social currency I had on that tense and personal speech. Tossing aside my identity as the sit-in-the-front-of-the-class-girl, I adopted a far more polarizing one: I was a liberal flight risk at a predominantly Republican high school.  It was 2017 and Trump supporters, fueled by the shocking presidential victory, emerged as a raucous mouthpiece in my school community (for context, the city’s local newspaper is called The Republican-American).  While my speech received accolades from some of my more liberal peers, others — mostly right-leaning boys — would yell at me across the hall, “Trump 2016!” or, more ‘subtly,’ “Women belong in the house!” (I wish that, at the time, I would have retorted, “Yeah, they belong in the House and the Senate,” but that slogan wouldn’t be popularized until nearly a year later).  As a product of the newfound political climate, boys I had once respected began vocalizing pro-life and anti-gun-control narratives. Trump’s Access Hollywood tape, which filmed him saying “Grab ‘em by the pussy,” normalized sexual assault jokes and garnered laughs among a particular social group. Many of those I had once thought attractive emerged as a different breed altogether, one with an allegiance to Trump and an overwhelming passion for American flag ties.  By the spring of my senior year, you couldn’t pay me to date half the boys in my high school (if we’re being honest, you probably couldn’t pay them to date me either).  My last semester of high school, somewhat marred by the shift in student expression, soon became a shadow. At Middlebury, I was surrounded by students who shared my political views. The question was no longer if you’re politically left but, rather, how left.  Because the dating pool at Midd has largely reflected my personal politics, I have seldom wondered how my past love interests will be voting this Nov. 3. By and large, even those who are not all that politically active will likely be checking Harris’s and Biden’s names off on their absentee ballots (note how I wrote Kamala before Joe).  Regardless, we should not refrain from voting because we think Maria’s countless old flames will be doing their part (by now, people are probably wondering when I’m going to run out of boys to write about). As I graduate this spring, however, Midd’s “liberal bubble” will be more of a pipe dream than a reality. I wonder how salient political ideologies will be in my romantic relationships. As a cisgender, white woman, is it a privilege that I get to choose?  Today, politics pertains to deep-seated values rather than loose belief systems.  Because social issues and economics are nearly inextricable from one another, the “fiscally conservative but socially liberal” agenda touted by some voters is a cute way of saying, “I love Vineyard Vines and volunteering at homeless shelters.”  But in order for us to take narratives like these seriously, we must also see action. Namely, votes that prioritize the well-being and protection of others.  In the 2016 election, this was not the case. Trump won 52% of fiscally-conservative-socially-liberal voters while Clinton garnered only 40%. Interestingly, had the 12% of Trump voters gone third-party, Clinton would have won the electoral college.  As the chasm between Democrats and Republicans deepens, there must be an authentic consideration of how our party affiliations impact our social values and, by extension, our interpersonal relationships. The candidate we vote for informs the humanity with which others are treated.  While differences of opinion can spark fruitful discussion, it is increasingly important that those with whom we engage do so respectfully. Systemic racism, immigration policy and healthcare access (to name a few issues) are both emotional and politicized; the way our partners enter into conversations may give us a look into how they handle relationships.  Those who are cordial in debates, are flexible in their beliefs and consider their votes’ impact on human rights may be more qualified to help us grow as political activists and people.  MASK OFF, MIDD: Who we keep close matters.  

Civil rights activist Angela Davis to speak at Middlebury

Civil rights activist Angela Davis will speak to the college over Zoom on Wednesday, Oct. 28 from 7 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. The event will be largely audience-driven, focusing on pre-submitted questions followed by a live-audience question and answer session. Community members can submit questions at go/askangela. “Angela Davis is perhaps the foremost living civil rights icon,” said Elizabeth Callaway ’21, co-executive of the Middlebury College Activities Board (MCAB) Speakers Committee. “She is a renowned academic and trailblazer in every line of work that she engages in.” Callaway is an organizer of the event alongside co-executive Anna Spiro ’21. Davis is a founding member of the Critical Resistance, an organization dedicated to abolishing the prison-industrial complex in the United States. She was also a leading member of the Communist Party USA, appearing as their vice-presidential candidate on the ballot in 1980 and 1984. Her academic work focuses on the intersection of race, sex and social consciousness. “We think that she is a wealth of information that students would really enjoy engaging in at this time,” Callaway said. “We and our co-hosts decided that it was extremely necessary to have this event before the election.” MCAB, the Black Student Union and Distinguished Men of Color will co-host the event. For more information about the event, visit go/angela. 

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Sex Panther: The internal condom

Do you know what an internal condom is? I didn’t until a friend recently brought it up, referring to it as a “sex toy,” prompting me to learn more about it and try it for myself. Here’s a quick overview of the internal condom: It is a non-latex condom you can use in an anus or vagina It protects from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy It is larger than an external condom (the kind that goes onto a penis or sex toy) and therefore protects the skin around the vaginal opening or anus I wasn’t sure exactly how it worked, so I practiced putting it on myself before I tried it with a toy or partner, since most of the time when a condom breaks it’s because of user error, not the condom itself. It was admittedly a bit harder to insert than I was expecting, but it was fun! And once I got it in place, it felt secure. I loved that it offered more surface area coverage than an external condom, and, as a result, I felt sexier with my partner because I was extra confident that I was protected from STIs. I also really liked the feeling of the material. It was silky and warmed up to my body, sort of like the Trojan “Bareskin” external condom. It is also completely covered in lube, which made things slippery and sexy and meant I didn’t have to get up to grab a bottle of lube. Fun fact: people with vulvas are way more likely to orgasm if lube is used! The only thing that was wack was the noise factor: when I was using the condom, it made sort of a crinkly sound. But then again, it’s pretty normal for sex to be loud. Next time, I’ll just turn on some music. Overall, I’m stoked that I have another barrier method in my repertoire! A lot of people think that the external condom is the only form of protection one needs, and while it’s a great option, that doesn’t mean it should be the only one. I encourage other folks to try it out if you’re interested. Do a little research and you will find tons of fun things about it. For example, you can insert the condom up to eight hours before sexual contact, meaning that with a little foresight you can be lubed up and ready to go well beforehand. Some insertion tips for folks who want to try it out: do not use the inner ring if you are inserting it into an anus, and make sure the inner ring is secured against your cervix if inserting into a vagina. Make sure it’s really up there and maybe even give it a tug to make sure it’s in place. Then, the most important part is to hold it in place while you are inserting whatever you are inserting — and have fun with it! Stay safe and stay lubey, The Sex Panther

Changes to Title IX alter reporting and investigation procedures

After Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos announced new Title IX regulations on May 6, Middlebury implemented changes to its policies on Aug. 14 in accordance with the new guidelines. Students and advocates across the country fear that Devos’ changes could introduce new obstacles in the process of reporting sexual assault, bolstering the defense of those accused.  The more than 2,000 pages of regulations released last spring address Title IX, a 1972 federal civil rights law which prohibits discrimination based on sex in relation to any education program or activity that receives federal funding. The law covers a wide range of issues, from equality of opportunities in athletics to how schools address incidents of sexual harassment and assault. The changes released in May alter the definitions of sex discrimination and harassment, changing how schools are required to respond to reports and which complaints the school is required to adjudicate under federal law.  The U.S. Department of Education published a press release on May 6 announcing the changes. It reads, “U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos took historic action today to strengthen Title IX protections for survivors of sexual misconduct and to restore due process in campus proceedings to ensure all students can pursue an education free from sex discrimination.”.  The most fervently contested changes to Title IX involve the investigation procedures for reports of sexual harassment.  A Brookings Institute analysis of the new regulations found that DeVos’s definition of sexual harassment demonstrates a narrowed understanding of the term from Obama-era standards. But it still remains broader than the even narrower definition offered by the Supreme Court. President and CEO of the National Women’s Law Center Fatima Goss Graves responded to the new regulations with a commitment to taking legal action against the Department of Education. “If this rule goes into effect, survivors will be denied their civil rights and will get the message loud and clear that there is no point in reporting assault,” she wrote in a May 6 statement. “We refuse to go back to the days when rape and harassment in schools were ignored and swept under the rug.” Implementing Title IX modifications at Middlebury The newly labeled Civil Rights and Title IX Office at Middlebury was tasked with implementing these new changes over the summer. Marti McCaleb serves as the college’s Civil Rights and Title IX Coordinator.  “The Department of Education has, for the first time in almost 50 years, issued binding legal rules governing how colleges respond to complaints of sexual harassment,” McCaleb said. Some of the new regulations provide detailed requirements for colleges to follow, but others grant schools broad discretion in deciding what standards and practices to implement and how to go about writing their policies. “Middlebury has not changed any of its behavioral expectations for students or employees,” McCaleb said. “We have restructured our policies and created a new investigation and resolution procedure for cases that fall under the new Title IX rules. For matters that don’t meet the federal definition, we will still respond to reports of misconduct using processes similar to those we have used in the past.” The Middlebury College handbook Non-Discrimination Policy defines sexual harassment to include quid pro quo sexual harassment, meaning “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal, written, visual or physical conduct of a sexual nature,” when compliance with such requests is explicitly or implicitly seen as impacting one’s employment or education. It also prohibits other discriminatory harassment based on or motivated by an individual’s actual or perceived sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity or expression in the same way that discriminatory harassment based on race or other protected characteristics is prohibited. Sexual assault is considered a form of sexual harassment. All college employees who are not specifically designated as Confidential Resources are required to report suspected instances of sexual harassment. Confidential Resources include — but are not limited to — MiddSafe, college counseling and medical providers and college chaplains. The largest change being made to bring Middlebury into compliance with the new federal guidelines is the implementation of live hearings and the informal resolution option, according to McCaleb. For conduct covered under the new regulations, there is a distinction between a “report” and a “formal complaint.” The former can be addressed with various non-punitive supportive measures, while the latter must meet the newly narrowed definition of sexual harassment and triggers a college investigation unless the parties both agree to pursue informal resolution. “Live hearings will be provided as required by the 2020 Title IX regulations,” reads the Middlebury handbook section on TIX Investigation & Resolutions Procedure. “At the request of either party, Middlebury will provide for the hearing to occur with the parties located in separate rooms with technology enabling the hearing officer and parties to simultaneously see and hear the party or the witness answering questions.” This section of the handbook details the process for reporting sexual harassment, undertaking an investigation, carrying out a hearing and sanctioning. During the hearing, each party must have an “advisor” who may or may not be an attorney. If either party does not have an advisor, the school will assign them one. Advisors will “conduct direct, oral, real-time cross-examination of witnesses,” according to McCaleb.  Hearings will be supervised by a neutral decision-maker, an individual other than the Title IX Coordinator. This individual is tasked with making evidentiary rulings and determinations during the hearing. Following the hearing, they will release a written decision detailing facts of the case as determined through the hearing and conclusions in relation to the school’s Title IX policy.  Eric López, a human relations officer, will serve as a hearing officer under the new Title IX system. “We will be responsible for conducting the hearings, making determinations regarding the relevance of questions at those hearings, and ensuring that only evidence that can be considered pursuant to the new regulations is used in determining whether a respondent can be found responsible for violations covered by the Title IX procedure,” López said of his responsibilities. These new procedures contrast with Middlebury’s previous policy, which did not allow for any contact between the two parties and instead relied on an investigator and decision-maker to examine the available facts and make a decision. Each party could meet with them separately upon request.   Another significant change is the allowance of informal resolutions. Under the Obama administration, the Department of Education released a 2011 Dear Colleague Letter which required all complaints to be investigated in a formal hearing. Yet under the new changes to Title IX, students who make an informal report can opt to partake in a voluntary “adaptive resolution.” “This structured approach, grounded in the principles of restorative justice, is designed to be adaptable so that a process can be identified that is appropriate for the harm caused and to best meet the needs of the individuals involved,” said Middlebury Director of Education for Equity and Inclusion Renee Wells. Wells emphasized that adaptable resolution facilitators work to ensure the process does not cause additional harm to survivors. Adaptable resolution processes are all overseen by individuals trained in restorative justice, bias, historical harm and the current Title IX regulations. According to Wells, resolutions could include direct processes — interactions which include those individuals who have been harmed and those who have perpetrated the harm — and indirect processes, or separate meetings that do not require any in-person interactions between the individuals involved. Individuals work directly with facilitators to determine which processes they want to pursue. Wells sees potential benefits in the fact that all of these processes provide students with greater agency and are crafted to the individual needs of those involved. She acknowledged that the considerable length involved in completing the course of an adaptable resolution could deter some students from participating. “This creates a different pathway for processing harm and can be used in a variety of situations that could ultimately create significant culture change around how we view harming others and what it takes to acknowledge that and move forward,” wrote Assistant Director of Health and Wellness Education Emily Wagner in an email to The Campus. Wagner, a violence prevention education specialist, played a part in determining how to implement the new changes at Middlebury. Leah Salzman ’21.5 worked as an intern for the Civil Rights and Title IX office this past summer, helping to determine how to implement the changes to Title IX. “I believe the work we did to implement the new regulations allowed for us to focus on making changes that clarify information and actually enhance connection with the student body,” she said. Salzman thinks that it is important for students to know that filing a report can allow them to access resources and support measures, even if they ultimately decide not to file a formal complaint and go through the investigation procedures. “Our commitment to education equity and equal access has not changed in light of these new regulations,” McCaleb and Chief Diversity Officer Miguel Fernández wrote in an Aug. 18 email to the student body. Changes will have varied impacts on students across the country  Each individual school has some discretion to determine how they will implement certain policies. The new regulations “leave much room for colleges to work with their own communities to maintain and strengthen their protections for student safety, and to assure a fair, impartial resolution to complaints,” McCaleb said. Consequently, the impact of Title IX on students will differ depending on the institution. There is also an increased emphasis on providing support, such as counseling, academic and residential accommodations, to students who experience sexual harassment. According to McCaleb, these measures reflect Middlebury’s pre-existing practices but could lead to significant changes at other institutions. “The live hearing model for investigations (required by federal Title IX policy, so Middlebury doesn’t have a choice about this) is generally considered to not be survivor-friendly and could be a deterrent to students reporting violations,” Wagner wrote. McCaleb hopes that the option for students to file an informal report will help prevent the new live hearing requirement from deterring reporting. McCaleb predicts that changes to mandatory reporting, standards of evidence, supportive practices and investigative processes will have the greatest impact on students at colleges and universities around the United States. Under the Obama administration, schools generally required most college employees to serve as mandatory reporters of sexual misconduct or harassment. However, the new guidelines relax this standard, and schools can decide whether or not all employees serve as mandatory reporters. McCaleb sees two perspectives on this change: it could reduce colleges’ accountability for reporting and addressing misconduct, or it could allow students more autonomy and control over when and how they choose to come forward with complaints. “These changes could have a chilling effect on reporting, or it could help reinforce the relationship of trust and privacy that students have with faculty or other college administrators and provide a greater sense of autonomy and fairness over the Title IX complaint and investigation process,” McCaleb said. Instances of sexual harassment and assault at Middlebury can now be reported through an online reporting form at go/report.  Corrections: This article was updated with more accurate definitions and terminology.

Sit down, shut up and be a man

When Patrick punched a hole in the wall, I was eating Goldfish and sitting on his basement couch.  His jaw, menacingly angular, was clenched with intention before he shoved his left fist through the drywall. Knuckles split, he turned to face me and cursed his father, a man who had been absent from his life for nearly a year, for sending him an unprompted text. I silently watched the blood ooze from Patrick’s hands and pool next to the white sneakers we had bought together that morning.  Surrounded by shattered drywall, I no longer recognized the sweet boy who carried an extra hairband on his wrist for me. He was enveloped by a roiling anger, one that disguised his tacit sadness and broke my heart.  From where I was sitting, this display was unmistakable. Taxed with maintaining a “tough” persona, men are oftentimes afforded little emotional leeway to express their insecurities, sadness and struggles. Rather than being deemed “brave” for seeking help from others, guys are sometimes encouraged to bypass public expressions of sensitivity in favor of “manning up.”  Steeped in cultural pressure, our society has delineated a narrow breadth of “masculine” traits. Those who are stoic, athletic and attractive (not to mention great in bed) are adorned in gold stars sanctioned by their soaring testosterone levels. [pullquote speaker="" photo="" align="center" background="on" border="all" shadow="on"]Feelings that fall outside these demarcations are a signpost for traditional manhood’s greatest opponent: emotional vulnerability.[/pullquote]  While women are now forging multidimensional identities, men are sometimes denied comparable flexibility. Despite battling gender discrimination on various accounts, female college students excel in academics, athletics and the arts, while men interested in traditionally “feminine” activities, such as fashion or theater, have their sexualities examined under a microscope.  On the opposite side of this binary, the few times that Middlebury has engaged in conversations about masculinity, the word “toxic” has been hastily tacked on. Reeling to prove they’re not the “bad guys,” male students either condemn misogyny or stay silent to avoid implication. We spend so much time talking about what men should not be that we ignore the expectations we have placed on them. No stand-up guy wants to be confused with a predator. He doesn’t want to be labeled a “pussy” either.  In the #MeToo era, celebrating physical and sexual prowess borders on predation. By comparison, overt affection or weakness gets you branded as a “little b*tch” among other guys. In a contemporary Catch-22, this perception falsely conflates masculinity with violence and blurs vulnerability and femininity.   In truth, competitiveness and the right dose of rowdiness are by no means problematic. Even I, a staunch feminist, understand the allure of “tough guys.” (I admit, I’m a bit of a drunk brawler, so a scar or black eye is right up my alley.) [pullquote speaker="" photo="" align="center" background="on" border="all" shadow="on"]When strength and sensitivity become mutually exclusive, however, we deny men the platforms to express softer emotions while keeping their “man card.”[/pullquote]  * * * Crinkling the aluminum of his third Miller Lite, Penn State senior Matt Auerbach muses in agreement. (He’s usually a Coors guy but the pandemic has limited his usual alcohol inventory.) “I think one of the biggest problems is the fact that people keep telling [men] to ‘be yourself’ and ‘express your emotions,’” he said. “In the same vein [we] look down on men who do open up and are vulnerable.” This dilemma demonstrates a nominal commitment to progress without challenging any of the constraints men face. Telling someone to be “compassionate yet stern” or both “stoic and expressive” is a semantic blur of 1950s tradition with 21st-century cognizance.  Interestingly, emotional suppression seems to loosen when women are involved. Clark Cossin, a 21-year-old Swiss native, echoes this sentiment when he describes his relationship with his parents. Squinting at the overcast sky, he lights a cig over FaceTime. “It’s a different kind of love from a father than it is from a mother,” he shares, migrating outside to puff smoke into the Saint-Prex landscape. “Compassion — I think that’s the mom’s role. And the dad’s role is to instill discipline.” The tendency for men to turn to trusted women for guidance illuminates the relative security in opening up to the “more emotional” sex. Part of this perception harks back to the traditional role of a loving woman maintaining household unity as she bakes bread for her breadwinning husband. Sourdough may have enjoyed a recent comeback, but these stereotypes need not follow. Mothers, girlfriends and sisters — possibly unequipped to handle a deluge of pent-up emotion —  become the filters for feelings supposedly too “effeminate” for male friendships. However, eschewing these challenging yet oftentimes worthwhile discussions within male friendships codifies stereotypical macho identities. Johnny D’Aversa, a senior at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, feels less pressure to keep up this charade. “When my girlfriend dumped me,” he shares, “I called [my friend] Peter and I cried on the phone a little bit.” His strikingly light eyes — thick brows perched above them — briefly dart to the bubble bath he’s preparing. “But I don’t think most guys would do that,” he adds quickly.  Despite individual commitments to open-mindedness and activism, many Middlebury students have likely experienced the manifestations of society’s dominant, gendered culture. A Pew Research Center survey found that only 50% of respondents thought society looked favorably on “caring” men. That figure jumped to nearly 100% when applied to women. These trends, although not necessarily Middlebury-specific, lay the foundation for what is an “acceptable” way for men to act in friendships, in the workplace and, of course, in college. Until we create space within our Middlebury community for a wide range of emotional expression independent of sex (yes, that includes crying), it will be impossible to find common ground with one another. Perhaps it is time for our private identities to bleed into our public lives.  Being a “real” man then is much more than bench-pressing and banging.   Maria Kaouris is a member of the class of 2021 and a columnist for The Campus.  

A case for Evelyn Waugh: Humanity and absurdity

As a young “​​Daily Express” correspondent, Evelyn Waugh (1903–66) once explained to a colleague the secret to success in the newspaper business. “The correct procedure [when assigned a story], is to jump to your feet, seize your hat and umbrella and dart out of the office with every appearance of haste to the nearest cinema,” Waugh said.  During what is hopefully the last few months of the Trump era, recommending Evelyn Waugh can seem like a daunting task. Both Waugh's brand of Catholicism and his political views bend towards the uber-conservative, and the novels of his later years increasingly include storylines and jokes that give way to theological tirades and overwrought language. But when he stays away from untenable beliefs, Waugh’s novels reign supreme in their painstaking style and dark humor. The word “satire” almost doesn’t apply to his books; Waugh’s jokes don’t just strike the reader with their barbed venom but simply induce sheer (if at times uncomfortable) laughter.  Captain Grimes in Waugh’s novel “Decline and Fall,” for instance, has taught at a number of public boys’ schools in the UK for years but is always getting fired for getting “in the soup.” Grimes remains an optimist, though, because he always gets job transfers thanks to his social class. “Besides, you see, I’m a public school man,” Grimes says. “That means everything.” Waugh deftly savages “old boy” networks here, even as he blends the tricky line between satirizing classism and trivializing the horrors of sex abuse. That same cold hilarity is found in his novels “Vile Bodies” and “Scoop,” where characters often shrug at human folly and their own emotions. For readers interested in more thoughtful literature, I still recommend Waugh for the overwhelming humanity of his two masterpieces “A Handful of Dust” and “Brideshead Revisited.” “Dust,” which recounts the fall of country aristocrat Tony Last after his wife Brenda leaves him for a younger man, has perhaps the meanest scene from any twentieth-century novel. When Brenda’s son John dies in a riding accident, for a moment, she thinks that her lover — also named John — has perished instead. Upon hearing that her boyfriend is alive, the now childless Brenda sighs, “Thank God.” It’s definitely an over-the-top scene, but we’ve all at one time or another met those wantonly self-centered beasts like Brenda Last, and few novelists capture the special banality of their narcissism more acutely than Waugh. The structure of “Dust” also allows us to — barely — digest such heinousness by balancing genuine darkness with slapstick doom. Shortly after the cuckolded Tony Last flees to the Amazon, he gets abducted by a certain Mr. Todd, a Colonel Kurtz-esque hermit who captures Tony and forces him to eternally read aloud Charles Dickens at gunpoint. I can see an icier satirist like J.M. Coetzee constructing the “Thank God” scene, and perhaps Flannery O’Connor at her weirdest might employ “Nicholas Nickleby” à la Mr. Todd. But in my mind, only one writer adeptly combines these two types of gallows humor, laughing at evil in all its pain ​and all its absurdity. And as for the sunnier anomaly of “Brideshead Revisited?” Well, a good deal of the novel’s last 200 pages play out a tad ham-fisted, particularly when Lord Marchmain — an avowed atheist and philanderer — suddenly takes Holy Communion in his last minutes, dying only after making the sign of the cross. But the book’s first 100 pages have an unvarnished sentimentality which has aged well. When the novel’s narrator Charles Ryder reflects on his college years, his comments on the features of Oxford wistfully transition into an ode to being young with one's friends. ​Charles especially misses “[Oxford’s] autumnal mists, her grey springtime, and the rare glory of her summer days — such as that day — when the chestnut was in flower and the bells rang out high and clear ... It was this cloistral hush which gave our laughter its resonance, and carried it still, joyously, over the intervening clamour.” Rereading this passage, I find myself forgetting the shock humor of “Decline and Fall” and Waugh’s later persona, that cigar-chomping right-winger outraged over the dawn of a British welfare state and the Great Scandal of the Catholic Church (its 1964 cessation of the Latin Mass). Instead, this is Waugh at his most ornate and sincere. And Charles Ryder’s ruminations about Oxford definitely echo my own joys about returning to campus for this weird, masked, and somehow beautiful semester.

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Sex Panther: The sexy side of Phase Two

Hey MiddKids! I’m back just in time to answer all the Covid-19-related sex questions you didn’t even know you had. There’s nothing like six months with your parents and siblings to prepare you for the new and strange social landscape that is this semester. Navigating our social lives in college was hard enough when we could touch one another, and with the new Covid-19 regulations, the Middlebury social scene has practically become uncharted waters.  In Phase Two, we've been told to pick four — and only four — close contacts to associate with. This makes any flirtatious, Proc crush-esque romances seem more unattainable than ever. Being told you can only interact closely with four people for the foreseeable future is very daunting. Do you choose four of your best friends? Do you leave a spot open in hopes of a new intimate partner? Do you sacrifice one of your closest friends for an already established partner? Were you looking forward to having more than four partners? These are all tricky questions with no obvious answers. I’m here to give you some tips and tricks for navigating sex and intimacy when DFMO’s, one night stands and random hookups are off the table (or at least more complicated than they used to be). Remember that you do not need to be having sex. The Covid-19 pandemic is a really scary time, and possible transmission of the virus is enough to make anyone want to take a break from — or choose not to start — physical intimacy. Also, for many people, sex is not a part of their lives for a little time, a long time, or ever — pandemic or not — and that is perfectly normal. But if you do find yourself wanting a partner or sexual intimacy, here is what I have to say: As the self-proclaimed Sex Panther, I know that being deprived of physical contact for six months leaves a lot of people craving intimacy and pleasure; maybe even a DFMO (there I said it). And coming back to this weird, dystopian campus is not exactly conducive to the sex lives that people may want or expect on a college campus. Communication is the key to Covid-safe sex (and all sex, literally). Communicate your boundaries — know what your partner has been up to (are they following Covid-19 guidelines…?), know who they have been seeing, tell them who you have been seeing and what you are looking to get out of your time together.  Just making out? Cool. Something more with those face coverings on? Nice. Condoms and dams non-negotiable while we wait for more research on the virus? #science. Direct communication about what you want and don’t want is sexy and can build trust (also sexy). Maybe Covid-19 is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for to step up our sexual health conversation skills, and the pandemic is the masterclass we all didn’t know we signed up for.  Whether you are looking for snuggle buddies, multiple partners or want to make full use of the four-person close-contact limit, here are some things to keep in mind: 1) These guidelines are in place to help us, not just to complicate our sex lives. 2) Keep a running list of your hookups if you didn’t already (c’mon, we all think about it sometimes…), even if it was a one-time thing or they were a close contact for less than a hot second. This will be extremely important if contact tracing becomes necessary. 3) 2020 is the time to practice your safest sex yet! The Covid-19 virus has been found in poop and semen which means condoms, dental dams and other barrier methods are some of the best tools we can use to protect against STIs, unwanted pregnancy and Covid-19. 4) Don’t just wash your hands, wash your sex toys too! Check the packaging or manufacturer's instructions for the best cleaning method for your toys. It could be hot soapy water, a 10% bleach solution or something else. 5) As I said earlier, communication is key right now and becomes even more pertinent when you are having sex with new or old close contacts. Keep talking! Good luck, and stay healthy! xoxo, Sex Panther