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(09/22/05 12:00am)
Author: Dina Magaril Red and white lights were blinking behind us on the deserted road. Our car pulled over to the side and we sat waiting for a full five minutes before we saw a man holding a flashlight approach us. Let me say here that I have never faced a cop or a police officer before. Luckily we were not in possession of any hallucinogenic substances, or we would have had a lot more charges to deal with.What we did have were three underage passengers whom the cop suspected had been drinking, but more importantly, one completely sober driver - she blew a .000 on the Breathalyzer test.In my book, that should have been the point where the officers let us go and congratulated us on how responsible we were for not drinking and driving. Instead, each of the passengers was taken aside separately and asked to take a Breathalyzer test. As each of my friends was pulled out of the car I wondered if what the officers were doing was even legal. Didn't a sober driver give us the OK to proceed? I later found out that Vermont law allows officers to give breathalyzers to passengers if they suspect that there are minors in the car who have been drinking. One of my friends refused to take the test. The other didn't know she even had that option. I first refused the test, but then, after the police threatened to take me to Rutland, I caved in.Throughout the uncomfortable situation hundreds of questions raced through my mind. Did the police have the right to make these types of threats? Were these officers harassing me because I didn't know the law? Did I have to answer all their questions? Could such a violation actually take away my financial aid? Would this go on my record? What about parental involvement? After I returned to campus, I felt extremely frustrated and helpless, but more importantly, I felt angry with myself. I felt I had incriminated myself because the threats the officers used were intimidating, yet, as I later found out, had little basis. I was mad that I didn't know better and mostly that I ought to have known better. Had I known what my rights were in this situation, I think I would have handled things a lot differently, even if the outcome was the same. All the passengers received violation 7 V.S.A, possession or consumption of alcohol by minors.I'm sure this case isn't unique. In fact, I've talked to a lot of students who have been in similar situations. It seems like all these stories are linked by one thing - students not knowing their options. Shouldn't it be the College's responsibility not only to educate students about the dangers of alcohol and substance abuse, but also to provide them with the necessary tools to defend themselves in a situation like mine? Thinking back to orientation, I cannot remember one lecture about Vermont laws amid all the safe sex, class registration and athletics speeches. Shouldn't legal issues appear at the top of the list? Since Middlebury College cannot take responsibility for its students' actions once they leave the campus, it is especially important that we take the time to educate ourselves about our legal rights. But perhaps it is not the College's position to educate us on these manners. We are, except for the occasional first-year, legal adults and are responsible for knowing the laws. Middlebury can help us to do this, but we need to ask the College first.I want to add here that I have received a lot of support and guidance from Middlebury deans and even Public Safety when I discussed my concerns with them. But for me, all these discussions came a little too late. I wish I had known what I do now before the incident so that it could have been avoided.Though we may not always make the best decisions throughout our time here at Middlebury, we should at least have the knowledge to assess all situations from am informed legal perspective, and to feel in control if charges are brought against us. -Dina MagarilAssistant Features Editor
(09/22/05 12:00am)
Author: Justin Golenbock True greatness is defined in those agonizingly few crystallized moments when man reaches his pinnacle and performs a truly miraculous feat. Sports have long been considered a medium for greatness in civilizations scattered through history, a fact recognized in 1896 when the first modern Olympics commemorated the valor of the famed Greek courier Phidippides, whose storied death from exhaustion after -and-fro the previous four days) warned the city in time to stave off Persian conquest. Of course, in today's world of talking heads we have SportsCenter and Pardon the Interruption (PTI) to remind us that greatness occurs daily. But true greatness is evanescent, ephemeral and elliterative, which is something I was reminded of today while discussing topic ideas with Lexington legend "Fats" Sullivan. "Fats'" own prowess on the Midd track is recognized as the most transcendent display of athleticism by a Minuteman since their earliest athletes were first celebrated for running away from the British. Greatness is memorable. It doesn't show up in the box, but weaves legends around performances of mere moments that inspire generations in the re-telling. Willie Mays' catch, a feverish Jordan decimating the Jazz, Wilt dropping 100 in one game - or on that same night sleeping with the first of 20,000 women, performances that none of us will ever count among the pedestrian. "That equals out to having sex with 1.2 different ladies every day since I was 15 years old," the reticent center stated but once to adoring fans.It is these performances I keep in mind as I scroll down hall of fame talent Edward Charles "Chuck" Knoblauch's lifetime statistics. This dude hit Fox Sports anchor Keith Olbermann's mom 6 rows up in the stands of Yankee Stadium while trying to make the throw from second base to first, on a nationally televised game no less. A Gold Glover in '97, he was benched in the 2000 World Series during games played at Shea (NL games are played without a DH), before six throwing errors in 14 spring training games forced a 2001 MLB preseason decision (ostensibly for purposes of safety) forbidding his playing second base when Tony Clark was not at first. True story. He took a good, not great, career that no one but Rob Neyer's grandchildren would have remember 100 years down the line, and steamrolled it all for one chance at lasting greatness, miraculously spotting a ball from several hundred feet off the forehead of a 74-year-old woman without harming a grey hair on her head. So how does the Chuck's story end? Well, because he's awesome, he retires at age 34, sends out vibes that he'll join fellow ex-MLBer John Burkett on the professional bowling circuit, cementing his place in sports crossover legend history. Something to ponder, Phidippides fans...
(09/22/05 12:00am)
Author: THOMAS C. DReSCHER The Marijuana Policy Project Foundation (MPP) recently launched a fundraising campaign targeted at fraternities and sororities in an effort to battle what many could be considered to be excessively harsh weed legislation - legislation which, asserts the MPP, is especially damaging to college-age Americans. "Students suffer needlessly in the name of America's futile, failed war on marijuana," said Rob Kampia, executive director of MPP in Washington, D.C. "Under federal law, conviction for mere possession of a joint can cost a student his or her financial aid, damaging careers and futures for no good reason. It's time to stop this madness, and we're asking fraternities and sororities, whose members are directly affected, to join the fight."FBI statistics reveal that over 330,000 Americans aged 18 to 22 were arrested on drug charges in 2003; that nearly half of all drug arrests involve marijuana; and that 88 percent of marijuana arrests are for simple possession, not sale or cultivation. Playboy releases college sex survey Playboy Magazine recently released the results of an "unscientific sex survey of 101 college coeds" in an apparent effort to enlighten college-age males on the intricacies of the female libido. The survey covers a rage of sex-related topics, from hooking up to bedroom tricks and the truth about cheating. Thirty one percent of those polled said they had made a sex tape, while a whopping 98 percent of females asserted that they would watch porn with a guy if he asked. Predictably, 57 percent of respondents named Angelina Jolie as the female celebrity they would most like to have sex with; Brad Pitt topped the list of male celebrities with 54 percent. Seventy percent also admitted to having a one night stand. Complete survey results can be found in Playboy's October issue. -U-wir FBI announces formation of Higher Ed Board Federal Bureau of Investigation Director Robert S. Muller, III, announced last week the formation of a National Security Higher Education Board in an effort to strengthen relations between higher education institutions and the FBI. The Board, which will serve as an advisory body to the FBI, is comprised of presidents and chancellors from 15 colleges and universities, including Pennsylvania State University (PSU) and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The Board will advise the FBI on the culture of education, including traditions of openness, academic freedom and international involvement, according to FBI spokesperson William Carter. "It's an opportunity for both the FBI and the academic world," he said.According to PSU President and Board Member Graham Spanier, there has long been a distrust of the FBI by the academic world, and in recent years there has been a strong desire in the U.S. government to make higher education part of the solution to national challenges. Members of the Board were chosen largely on the basis of whichuniversities received the largest research grants from the federalgovernment. -The Cavalier Daily
(09/15/05 12:00am)
Author: ZAMIR AHMED LAX star Ed Brown '05 goes proEd Brown '05 recently achieved the dream of most undergraduates around the country - he got a job after graduation. However, unlike most of his peers, Brown will be making his living playing professional lacrosse. The San Jose Stealth made Brown the final selection in the first round of the National Lacrosse League draft by taking the All-American defenseman with the 11th pick.Brown faces a number challenges in his transition to the big leagues, among them playing indoors and adjusting to a short stick. The Stealth still believe that Brown will have a big impact on a team that went 4-12 last season in the near future, primarily because of his toughness and education. Brown also knows what it is like to play under pressure, having helped the Panthers reach the NCAA title game the past three years. Brown's first chance to prove himself will come in tryouts in October where he hopes to make the team for its 2006 season beginning in January.X-Country to host invitationalThe cross-country season kicks off this weekend as Middlebury will play host to local rivals at the annual Panther Invitational. Both the men's and women's teams will look to lay down a strong foundation for the rest of the year and hopefully a run to the NCAA Championship meet. The men's team heads into their season full of confidence, having coming off a strong preseason. "Everyone was really flying at our scrimmage in Williams last week," said Co-Captain Garrott Kuzzy '06. "We're looking to significantly improve against our NESCAC rivals this year."Besides Kuzzy and co-captains Baker Lyon '06 and Nolan Sandygren '06, Jimmy Butcher '08 and Will McDonough '07 should provide a great spark for the Panthers. Chris Pelliccia '07 will be one of the dark horses on the team and the incoming first-year squad should make an impact on the team right away.Last year, the women fell just short in their bid to win their fourth NCAA Championship, finishing second behind Williams at the national meet. The team will look to build on that experience this year. "We left on a pretty good note," said Co-Captain Jennifer Jorvig '06. "We are just looking to go from there this season."Along with Jorvig, co-captains Kelsey Rinehart '06 and Claire Anderson '06 will look to lead the Panthers back to a national title. Andrea Giddings '07 and a strong group of underclassmen should also contribute significantly to the team's performance.In addition to running in front of their friends this weekend's meet will come with another benefit for the Panthers. "Our course is a tough one to start out on," said Jorvig. "After this it gets easier as the season goes on."Intramural action on the wayMiddlebury students will have a chance next week to add to their already busy schedules as the fall intramural season is set to kick off. This autumn, students will have the opportunity to compete in a variety of individual and team events, ranging from football to volleyball to badminton, as well as in coed or single-sex leagues. There will also be a few one-time events where students can show off their athletic prowess. The annual fall triathlon will be held in early October and decide Middlebury's best all-around athlete.The effect of the upcoming intramural season on the student body can already be seen on campus as hundreds of students rush to get in shape. The fitness center has been packed in recent days with students looking to tone up while the current good weather has allowed runners to come out in droves. All those looking for a little friendly competition and exercise should apply.
(05/05/05 12:00am)
Author: Ben Salkowe While Middlebury's Theatre department has made a name for itself putting on first-rate dramas and even the occasional comedy, musical theatre has long been largely absent from the College's performing arts scene. Director Doug Anderson, visiting assistant professor of Music, and an outstanding cast changed all that last weekend with a production of William Finn and James Lapine's "Falsettos" that blew away the musical's struggle to find a place at Middlebury. Competing with a cozy Christmas drama in Wright, the Falsettos played to full houses and showed that the musical can - and now does - have a place in the Center for the Arts (CFA).The story is, as it bills itself, an emotional examination of life, love, sex and other "unscheduled events." "Falsettos" - by definition male voices singing in the female range - follows the changing nature of families in the 80s through the character of Marvin (Nicholas Cloutier '06), who leaves his wife Trista (Allison Corke '08) and son Jason (Angus Barstow) for his male lover Whizzer (Jake Nicholson '05). The show also includes Marvin's lesbian neighbors, Charlotte and Cordelia (Hillary Waite '05 and Shannon Gmyrek '06.5). When Nicholson's character becomes fatally ill with AIDS, the play reveals that even non-traditional families are bound by love. In stark contrast to past student attempts to bring musicals to Campus, Anderson's production was polished and audibly beautiful - for anyone who looks down on musicals as high school art, the show was a shocking revelation. Each member of the seven-person cast contributed an amazing but distinct voice to the show, from Mendel, the family shrink played by Adam Beard '06, to the adolescent voice of young Jason, played by Barstow who is an eighth-grader from the Gailer School. The vocal climax of the piece, however, was a duet of Cloutier and Nicholson singing the show's tearjerking penultimate number, "What Would I Do?" The dynamic of Cloutier's rich bass under Nicholson's sweet tenor gave Finn's music a stirring energy and illustrated the powerful voice of music on subjects as weighty and complex as the themes of changing families and love in "Falsettos." The three-person orchestra, directed by Assistant in Music Carol Christensen and starring Mark Barber '06 visibly on stage with his keyboard, supported the performers with a clean and subtle accompaniment that was simple and elegant, but never overpowering.While the show was musically exceptional, the production's most musically successful numbers were also sometimes its weakest moments as theatre. Particularly in the first act of the production, Cloutier, Nicholson and Corke all seemed to have difficulty balancing the large-ness and cartoon-ish nature of their musical theatre characters with the genuinely real and sincere concerns and people in "Falsettos." Finn's show asks actors to walk a difficult balance of playing big and caricature-like musical characters, while remaining emotional and vulnerable people in a story - a balance few of the show's leads attained for very long. Cloutier as Marvin never seemed to be the big and overdone character we would have expected in a musical, but was also not quite a real person, as he seemed detached in the play's most emotional moments. In her own nervous breakdown ala show-stopping solo, Corke had similar troubles - never quite becoming the big and rash drama queen her part demanded, but on the other hand not coming across as a real person either. By contrast, Beard and Barstow - both of whom arguably had more clearly defined characters to play - more successfully reconciled their sometimes silly and always funny characters with genuinely human motives and worries. In a childish but surprisingly moving song, "My Father's a Homo" Barstow captured both the exaggerated cartoon-ish adolescent he played and the honest worries of a teenager with a homosexual parent. Beard also balanced his character well, offering audiences both an off-the-wall psychiatrist treating a family and simultaneously courting one of its members, and an adult looking for happiness in life. Short of picky acting criticism, the production left me floored with its creativity and talent. The designers demonstrated that good theatre does not need gaudy, overdone lights, sets or costumes. In a creative use of the CFA they constructed a simple panel of four revolving doors managed by the eerily Vanna White-esque stage manager Jessica Nichols '07 - if all else fails with her Middlebury education, there's a wheel of fortune with her name on it."Falsettos" gave the campus' performing arts scene a much-needed fresh performance. As a show, it offered audiences a beautiful look at a heavy issue. As an artistic creation it showed that theatre is at its best when it creatively tackles challenges. In his "director's notes" Anderson noted that "Today 42nd Street has been thoroughly sanitized, as has the current crop of Broadway musicals [...] so it's a good time to revisit the edgy and powerful "Falsettos." For me it's a keen reminder of the vast potential of the American musical."For Middlebury, Anderson's production was a "keen reminder" of the vast potential of the College's performing artists.
(05/05/05 12:00am)
Author: ANDREW CARNABUCI ’06 "Thus we will be incomprehensible," wrote Jacques Derrida, on the current direction of language in academia. Sadly enough, I believe that Middlebury College will soon prove Derrida's words prophetic. In our dogmatic kow-towing to idol of political correctness, we are also destroying the English language. The other day, I learned that the Parton Health Center can perform for students something they refer to as a "Substance Use Assessment." This phrase means so little that it is useless. I like to eat my hamburgers and french fries with ketchup. Perhaps I might require a "Substance Use Assessment" to determine my Heinz intake. What they mean to say, clearly, is an "Alcohol Abuse Test," but is this sort doublespeak really the way we want to use our language? Does vagueness reduce our words to absurdities? Next up, we have the now-famous "holiday tree." To what holiday does this tree correspond? Well, it's certainly not Chanukah, Ramadan or Kwanzaa, as none of them feature decorated trees prominently in their iconography. It is a Christmas tree. Why would one ever choose a vaguer descriptor over a more specific one? As a means not to not offend those members of the community not of the Christian faith? I am still waiting to meet the non-Christian among our community who was seriously and truly offended back when it was called the Christmas tree, but feels thoroughly at peace with the "holiday tree."At a school that emphasizes its literature curriculum and hosts the most famous writers' conference in the world, one would think that our institutional literature might be up to snuff, but no such luck. A quick flip - or rather, Web-surf - through the College handbook will attest to this. Constantly it uses the most prominent - and most ugly - trope of the institutional newspeak, the dreaded "he or she." "If I student wishes to appeal the fine, he or she may...." Allow me to present: synecdoche. Shakespeare used it a lot. As any high school student could tell you, it is a literary device allowing a part to stand for the whole. Thusly, the masculine pronoun - or the feminine for that matter - may stand in for both genders. Synecdoche allows us to say "Mankind" to refer to what many - sadly - now call "Man- and Womankind." As English expert William F. Buckley points out, "If you can't see what's wrong with that, I can't explain it to you." This is not the only linguistic abomination in our handbook however. Business-writing nonsense-isms abound, we are told to "utilize" things instead of "using" them. People do not "help," they "facilitate." This is a College which prides itself on producing good writers, yet its written materials sound like a legal brief.Our conversational skills aren't great either. Just the other day, I heard someone refer to a "Non-Same-Sex Marriage." According to one friend of mine, we didn't "disagree," we were "differently-minded." This is absurd.Some - probably those who will grow up to become those teachers who spend their free time blacking the swears out of Catcher in the Rye and Huckleberry Finn - will condemn me and my argument as insensitive and prejudiced, but that simply speaks to the lack of respect for the educational dialectic on this campus. Middlebury is a school where it is impossible to make a fundamentally conservative point without being heckled, ostracized and universally reviled by the belligerently hyper-sensitive community. The fundamental principle behind both democracy and academia is a free exchange amidst the marketplace of ideas and that exchange is made impossible by both anti-conservative dogmatism and the fundamental inability to communicate clearly in our primary language, both of which run rampant on this campus. It is time to reclaim our language. Jorge Luis Borges, a native Spanish speaker, wrote the vast majority of his works in English precisely because he felt it possessed a precision and depth of expression which Spanish lacked. We can, like Borges, revel in the richness of English or we can keep diluting and destroying it, spiraling ever inward to a vacuum of our own self-imposed ignorance. I, for one, will never surrender the English of Shakespeare, Milton and Keats for sacrifice upon the altar of academic tweediness, to the god of political correctness.
(05/05/05 12:00am)
Author: Richard Lawless The role of a music critic is to act as a Virgil to the musical Dante as they journey through hell together. Though most people find critics to be bitter, angry pricks, they still read and listen to them, even if it's only for the sheer entertainment value. I hope that, if anything, my column was at some point amusing, even if you found my music taste to be weird and possibly idiotic. At the end of the day, I know that I'm not going to redefine anyone's musical taste, but hopefully I've turned at least one person on to an album they might've never heard otherwise. Writing about music I love is a wonderful, constructive hobby, but the real fun honestly lies in bashing terrible music. For my last column, I decided to go out in a blaze of glory, doing what a critic does best: wielding my fiery axe of scorn and bitching about music released in the last year I find to be deplorable. R.E.M. "Around the Sun"Michael Stipe recently lashed out at critics for not listening anymore and just having preconceived attitudes about aging bands' new albums. There's a reason we have these preconceived notions: you haven't written a decent song since 1993, and we're tired of listening to drab, soupy crap from three guys who should've followed Bill Berry's lead and quit 10 years ago.Har Mar Superstar "The Handler"If we could all just boycott one artist, and not even acknowledge his presence, this bloated hipster would be at the top of the list. His act is obviously a joke, but last time I checked, no one's laughing at a dude who decided to dust off an age-old gimmick about a disgusting, arrogant and delusional ladies man. Jon Lovitz already cornered the market for overweight weird men pretending they're sex idols, but he's actually funny. Hook up with Peaches already and gross out the world together. Last time I checked she was wearing a (hopefully) fake set of testicles while performing. Brilliant. The Vines "Winning Days"I'm incredibly thankful that the entire world, except for those lovable Aussies, has stopped paying attention to this band who were once marketed as the next Nirvana. Last time I checked, Nirvana wrote good songs and didn't feature a lead singer who fell over every five seconds. Tortoise "It's All Around You"The impression I have of Tortoise is that the group is comprised of eight guys with neatly trimmed beards and those sleek, futuristic nerd-glasses sitting in a sterile, whitewashed room, staring at the wall or stiffly playing a vibraphone. Chicago post-rock has gotten nauseatingly stale and cold, like my aunt's tuna casserole (although unlike post-rock, my aunt's tuna casserole can be made warm and tasty again with a quick microwave zap), and Tortoise are now churning out barren, soulless jazz-crap. Though earlier Tortoise albums are excellent in fresh experimentation with rhythms, jazz, gurgling synthesizers, and tape manipulation, as they grow older and mellow out to inconceivable levels the creativity has quickly vanished.Guns N' Roses "Greatest Hits"It's called "Appetite for Destruction" and everybody already owns it.Courtney Love "America's Sweetheart"While Bob Dylan is a living legend, Courtney Love is a living trainwreck. Even if there was a decent song here - and there's not - the massive wave of hatred against her culled from the American public's disgust is enough to ensure she'll never work in this town again. And by "this town," I mean anyone's CD player. Jimmy Eat World "Futures"If they didn't take themselves so seriously, they'd...no, they'd still be crappy, but at least this way they're easier to laugh at. After writing the bouncy football game staple "The Middle," they try to avoid the one-hit wonder graveyard (where there's a spot conveniently waiting for them right in between Marcy Playground and Lifehouse) by creating this humorless, lifeless set of musically-challenged quasi-anthems. They probably thought this album would reinvent rock music as we all know it. Tools. Ben Lee "Hey You, Yes You"Hey Ben Lee, stop making albums.And finally, one last word of advice: buy the new Sleater-Kinney album ("The Woods"). It's going to be huge. Bye kids. It's been real.
(04/27/05 12:00am)
Author: Douglas Hale On Monday, April 25, Carr Hall hosted a deliberate dialogue forum addressing several issues concerning sex and sexuality in our society. Entitled "Sex: Making Public Policy for Private Passions," the event was designed to address separatism and contentious issues under the general label of sex perceived both on the Middlebury campus and in the national community. Discussion of these issues and concerns from a cross-section of campus was intended to contribute to the creation of a more democratic and less sectioned off campus community.Amaury Sosa '07 and Jing Liu '07 moderated the event, guiding attending students, staff and faculty through a series of specific approaches for investigating sexual diversity and acceptance issues, a procedure designed at Franklin Pierce College and produced by the New England Center for Civic Life. It was the third in a series of student-organized deliberate dialogue forums sponsored by the Office for Institutional Diversity, following forums on ethnicity and race in February during Black History Month and on gender in March during Women's History Month. Students including Sosa and Liu, as well as attendee Matty Van Meter '07, were trained by the Vermont Campus Compact as moderators to conduct these deliberate dialogue sessions.The event began with a brief discussion of the purpose of public deliberation - pooling various opinions and beliefs in a civil manner, to make decisions about beneficial public action through informed consequence and benefit analysis. This goal set the tone for what became an often difficult search for common ground among forum participants. The moderators conducted the discussion by eliciting responses to three proposed approaches to dealing with issues within the sphere of sexual public policy - guaranteeing legal rights for persons of various sexual orientations, recognizing heterosexuality as society's norm and creating a culture that values all kinds of sexual orientations in a way that transcends legal decisions.In-depth debate of the issues resulted in some degree of consensus regarding these different approaches. Participants concluded that an innate sexual orientation is predetermined in every person, that social education and legal action accepting various sexual practices should be encouraged and that although homosexuality is not the norm, it is nevertheless unjustified as a reason for discrimination.Most participants left the forum in agreement that legal changes regarding sexual practices can and will result in increased recognition, awareness and understanding. It was proposed that while our country, compared to many other countries, especially those in Western Europe, is hesitant to address issues regarding hetero- or homosexual practices, historical precedents have been set by both civil rights and women's rights movements to suggest that policy changes will in themselves increase acceptance. Additionally, forwarding such awareness on social and cultural levels can also help to reduce discrimination against those of various sexual orientations.Several attendees, including recent graduate Nate Marcus '04.5, expressed their wish that the forum had included a broader scope of participants to add to the differing opinions and groups represented on the Middlebury campus. Despite the relatively small number of 10 participants, however, Dean for Institutional Diversity Roman Graf felt that the forum was a success. "The hope is that [these forums] will allow for diverse opinions to be voiced, heard and deliberated in an academic setting," he said. "We as a community do not get together enough to hear from each other and find out about each other's beliefs," he said.
(04/21/05 12:00am)
Author: MATT KUNZWEILER If you're like me, the time you most enjoy at Middlebury is the time you're unconscious. I often have a good time while I'm awake, alert and engaged - but when I'm asleep, I'm in a guaranteed state of bliss. I love it. I love it so much that I nap while I'm supposed to be in class, while I'm in class, in the library, at the Grille, at my desk, on my couch, in the shower, on the john. But maybe there's something disturbing about the fact that I enjoy being asleep more than being awake. I'm 21-years-old, in my so-called prime, a college student. I have friends, a car, gas money, opportunity, nothing holding me back, etc. But I'd much rather be asleep, oblivious to everything that's going for me - even if it means sleeping on my shoddy little dorm room mattress that has been uncomfortably cratered by decades of drunken sex dents.The problem with sport napping (that's what I like to call it) is that I become completely useless while awake. The best sport nappers know that during their waking hours they must stay as inactive as possible, keeping a low heart rate and minimal awareness. That way, whenever there's an opportunity to fall asleep, they're already halfway there. I spend most of my day in this state of semi-consciousness. I mumble, squint, drag my feet and, in general, come across as being socially inept. I have trouble making my way through the brightly lit dining hall, I forget silverware, over-toast my cinno-raise bagel, realize my fly is unzipped and then, for almost five minutes, I stand like an idiot in the middle of everything, scanning the room for a secluded place to sit, a place where my food and I will not be accosted by perky, outgoing people. The chipper Midd-kids are my enemies. They just don't understand. They mean well, and I can appreciate this. But when they ask me how my week has been going and I don't even know what day of the week it is, this confuses me, sets me on edge, raises my heart rate and sets me another step away from sleep. If you really want to know how my week is going, shoot me an e-mail and I'll get back to you when I have the time and motivation. Until then, settle down.But this is the time of year when greed sleeping becomes difficult. Professors who care nothing about me and my goal of perfect inertness assign time-consuming final projects, papers and presentations (which, by the way, teach me nothing). Still, I'm amazed how well I can sleep when I have grotesque amounts of work hanging over my head. I can nap for six solid hours the day before I have a major research paper due. Sleep is my only refuge from the guilt of laziness. It's the perfect answer.A friend once told me that I'm "just practicin' for the grave." That comment raises some very profound existential questions, none of which I plan on answering in a column as obnoxiously cutesy and half-ass as this one. I'll try harder next week.
(04/14/05 12:00am)
Author: Jason Siegel PARIS - Imagine you are an advertising executive, and a yogurt company asks you to market their newest flavors. Ask yourself, what would be the easiest, most logical way to market this new dairy delight? If you said, "Why, that's simple. Just show a naked woman eating yogurt," then clearly, you've spent some time in France.The attitude towards sex in Europe has been described by a gamut of Americans as everything from "appalling" to "awesome, dude." Children walking the streets of Paris will see advertisements featuring nothing but men's torsos and upper thigh area, fully naked women or the Eiffel Tower as a hilarious phallic symbol. None of these, it should be noted, seem to have as negative an effect on children as the split-second view of a female celebrity's pectoral region.Though there is much ado about women's sexuality, the sex appeal of men (including yours truly) does not go overlooked, as I found out during Paris' annual sales.I went looking for a variety of clothes, hoping to find something, anything that might be reasonably chic and within my price range. While I was browsing, I happened upon the underwear department and was shocked. Apparently, the Parisians don't believe in boxers - not incredibly surprising in itself, as many other countries shun them as well. What surprised me was that the only underwear available for adults and senior citizens alike would, in the United States, be appropriate only for Deuce Bigelow et al. (I ended up with a nice button-down shirt, thank you very much).With no FCC and Puritanical advocacy groups breathing down their necks, French television stations and movie theaters are free to show as much or as little sex as they see fit, even on government-run stations. This, however, does not result in French airwaves being dominated by nudity and constant innuendo. In fact, sex comes up less often here than in the United States or Chile, the two countries I'm most familiar with.As for the effect this openness toward sexuality has on the rest of the society, it's not that much. For example, the teen sex rate in France is not that much different from the rate in the United States. On the other hand, the pregnancy rate tends to be much lower, in part because of a willingness to teach kids that condoms do work - contrary to what the most popular abstinence-only education programs teach in the States - and in part because male homosexuality is not linked to a lack of virility, thus teen gays don't feel the need to prove their manliness by hooking up with a girl.Yet, for all this openness, I'm still left with one question. Who sees a naked woman and thinks, "Man, I want some of that...yogurt"?
(04/07/05 12:00am)
Author: Nicholas Fager Last Saturday students crammed into McCullough Social Space to see a comedian that has been compared to Chris Rock, George Carlin and Dane Cook. These students were witness to the comical genius of Eliot Chang. Chang is from New York City and prides himself on a "no holds barred" performance, which he surely delivered on Saturday. His main goal in each one of his shows is "to make every single person in the audience laugh harder than they ever have in their entire life." Judging from the reactions of many who attended he may have achieved this goal at Middlebury. Eliot Chang has a long list of prestigious comedic appearances, including a performance on Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and Spike TV's "Crashtest." On "Premium Blend" he was one of the few comics in history to receive a standing ovation. For eight years he has toured America to sold out crowds, and his act has long been known as one of the best in the country. Originally an actor, he currently does improv for the Upright Citizens Brigade and is part of an NYC sketch comedy group called Project Mayhem. There is also a side of Chang that perhaps no one at Middlebury College, except those who attended his show, are aware of. Chang is an acclaimed Asian Activist and actually followed his act with a serious political discussion entitled, "Asians in the Media." The discussion focused on the portrayal of Asians throughout history in the media and the influence of that portrayal on American attitudes towards Asians. His work as an activist has put him in high demand as a keynote speaker. His workshop has garnered so much attention across the United States that he was invited to use MTV offices across the country to conduct. Will Ceurvels '08 enjoyed both aspects of Chang's show. "His act was one of the funniest I have seen, and the lecture afterwards, with its contrast to comedy, showed yet another impressive aspect of his character," he said.Overall, both the comedic and serious aspects of the show were a big success. Those who attended agreed that Chang had a unique style of individualistic humor that was very effective. Chang proved himself to be a daring comedian with strong opinions on and off the stage. His original, honest humor spoke the truth about important issues from politics to television. He was not afraid to challenge the ideas that the media has pressured the public to believe while maintaining the humorous side of his act. Eliot talked about "real issues," as opposed to what some might view as the usual "hum-drum" of stand-up comedy. Still, his show was not derogatory towards any race, sex or background, letting everyone in the audience enjoy it. His comedy somehow manages to "make strong points in a non-offensive manner," declared Jed Yeiser '08.Middlebury was privileged to host such a renowned comedian as Eliot Chang this past weekend. His mixture of the serious and comedic aspects in his act provided an effective and hilarious overall performance. His workshop added a unique and interesting aspect to his act, and his ability to balance humor with real issues of society is incomparable.
(03/31/05 12:00am)
Author: Addason McCaslin Middlebury College offers its students a nearly inexhaustible list of activities, organizations and opportunities that enrich both the mind and body. Yet there is only so much enrichment that one can take without falling asleep or collapsing from exhaustion. Sitting down in front of the television and letting the mind go blissfully blank has become a familiar way to kick back and relax ever since those old black-and-white models first came on the market. Watching TV briefly frees us from the concerns and expectations of an otherwise hectic life, and occasionally we may even learn something along the way. Traditionally, without skilled VCR programming, TV shows have been available for viewing only at set times through the week. This inconvenienced many busy people - they needed their favorite shows to relax, but they had few ways to find out what happened when they missed an episode. Today, however, busy people like students at Middlebury College can have their cake and eat it too. Many popular TV shows like "Family Guy," "Friends," "The West Wing," "The Simpsons" and "Sex and the City" amongst others can now be found on sale in video stores. Unfortunately, no boxed TV show comes with a disclaimer asking consumers to "please use responsibly."Any given Midd-kid may lie anywhere on the spectrum of boxed TV show use, from abstinence to full-blown addiction. Middlebury College ranks sixth on the Princeton Review's list of students who never stop studying, and this seems to be reflected in many students' use of boxed TV shows. Carlos Beato '07 believes that for schedules like his "free time only exists in the weekends and often a lot of people would rather just sleep or just relax than watch TV." Nevertheless, many students choose to incorporate an episode of "Alias," or maybe "The OC" or "Freaks and Geeks" as a brief respite from the rigors of school. Moriah Helms '08.5 does not regularly watch boxed TV shows, but she realizes that "you can watch just one as a study break - it's a lot shorter than a movie." In truth, shows that run for 30 minutes on TV are just over 20 minutes when watched from a boxed set. We can justify a 20 minute break from studying to watch an episode of "Family Guy" with much more ease than we can a two hour break to watch our favorite movie. Boxed TV shows fulfill an important function in the lives of many students without becoming a harmful addiction. Some students make a tradition of watching an episode or two of their favorite show every night before turning in. Bri Cavallaro '08.5 and her friends who watch the "The West Wing" say that this nightly ritual "is a lot of fun and gives [them] plenty of things to argue about the next night at the dinner table." "The West Wing" may educate, but many other shows only entertain. Yet, this is not to say that pure entertainment is wrong. Normally the purpose of watching TV is simply to relax and leave the world of responsibilities behind. You may also come out with some funny quotes. Middlebury students are an uncommonly studious group, but the temptation to binge on TV shows always looms over some of our shoulders. Having so many hours of easy entertainment in one easy-to-access case is just like sitting near the ice cream in the dining halls - it is so easy to overindulge. According to Liana Sideli '08.5, "The only problem is that you get sucked in and end up watching the whole season when you really only wanted to watch two episodes."
(03/17/05 12:00am)
Author: Sam Wilson One of the things that really bugs me about the Bush Administration is how often its rhetoric has nothing to do with reality.We heard about Iraqi ties to al- Qaeda, and Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, both of which ended up being bogus. Then we heard about a Social Security crisis happening now. That being correct only if "now" means about 40 years from now, and "crisis" means easily fixable problem.And of course to keep the public from catching onto the gulf betwixt reality and rhetoric, the press corps has to be kept in line. And this is why journalists get money from the government to promote the President's agenda, with no disclosure. And this is why "Jeff Gannon," legally known as James Guckert gets into White House press briefings to toss lobs at Scott McClellan.And then there are the beautiful times where the reality/rhetoric discrepancy merges with the secretive manipulation of the press to create a truly beautiful bit of monkey mung.A few months ago, you may recall, the administration got caught sending out videos of news reports to local news agencies. The problem with the videos was that the government never alerted the locals that it had produced the videos. They were taken for legitimate reporting. This caused a little tiff. The Government Accountability Office (GAO), the nonpartisan investigative arm of Congress, went so far as to call these videos "covert propaganda," and let drop that it was most likely illegal. When questioned about this, the President declared it wrong and said it should stop. Kudos for him on that.However, as this baby-scandal lacked sex, drugs, violence or anything else titillating or fantastical it quickly faded from public consciousness. So now I find myself getting bugged by the administration. With this boop-boop-scandal out of the light, the administration has decided that maybe it is not so wrong, and does not need to stop, it just needs some unethical justification.Last week the Justice Department issued an opinion declaring that the practice is appropriate as long as the information contained is factual. The GAO, remember, is nonpartisan and they called the practice "propaganda" and illegal. The Justice Department is headed by Alberto Gonzales. During his confirmation hearings it was universally recognized that his loyalty to the President was among his higher qualities.And while these videos are not blatant ideological preaching - as far as I know they do not declare anything like "Democrats kill puppies" - they are also not objective journalism. The New York Times reported that many of these reports cherrypicked the most favorable "facts" they could find in an apparent attempt to promote the President's agenda. The video clips also often omit any information that does not buttress the Administration's goals.It is wrong but is it also appropriate? I just get bugged when rhetoric is so divorced from reality.
(03/17/05 12:00am)
Author: Lisie Mehlman Nikko Arger '07 is somewhat of a legend to gym-goers and it is high time that the rest of the Middlebury community get to know him. Nikko's known for his...umm...energized treadmill running. It is inspirational to see him whipping out intensely crazy dance moves while sprinting as fast as the machine will go. The Middlebury Campus caught up with Nikko to learn more about this famed Midd-kid.The Middlebury Campus: So, let's hear about your famed gym behavior.Nikko Arger: Well, I love running, plain and simple. When I am at at home in Nevada it is a different climate, especially in the summer, so I run outside as much as I can. Here in Middlebury, most of the year it is too cold, and when it is not too cold, it is too humid for me to run outside. So I run on the treadmill. I admit that the treadmill can get pretty boring, but the key for me is the music. I really get into what I am listening to - it makes the time go by so much quicker, it can get me very pumped up, and it's so much fun. The music keeps me going and at the same time, I keep going so I can listen to the music.The Campus: Why do you dance around? Arger: I guess I dance around because it helps pass the time and I get into my workout so much more. It helps get and keep my adrenaline and endorphins up and I love it. Plus, it's sort of a good way to burn those extra few calories, and of course, it is so much fun to just cut loose.The Campus: What ever are you listening to on your iPod that gets you so pumped up? What is your favorite music to run to?Arger: Well, first of all, I don't have an iPod, I have an MP3 CD player with all my running music on it. I usually run to the same stuff on my different distance days, but I do like to mix it up as well. I listen to everything from Britney Spears to Papa Roach to Beyonce to Pearl Jam. Whatever has a good beat and gets me excited. I think my workout faves are ATC's "Around the World," Britney Spears' "Crazy Remix," Papa Roach's "Getting Away with Murder" and of course Jennifer Saunders' "I Need a Hero."The Campus: Do people stare? If they do, do you mind?Arger: I guess people stare, my friends tell me all the time that they see me in the gym going crazy on the treadmill. My friend even did a film project on it, and I was really honored. I don't mind it at all, whatever someone wants to do to get their energy up is fine with me. I think most people are more focused on their own workouts anyway so they aren't distracted by what I am doing. Although, the TVs are right above me, so I guess they are looking in my direction anyway.The Campus: How fast and how far do you run on that treadmill?Arger: Well I usually run between 8.5 and 9.5 mph, so faster than a 7-minute mile. I start off slower and just gradually increase the speed. By the end I am up to 9.5 mph, or about a 6-minute mile. I have a very regular program. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I run 8 miles and on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, I run 5 miles and on Sunday I run 6. I know it is not good to run everyday, but I am sort of addicted to it, so I try to go everyday and I am pretty good about it. The Campus: Are there other components to your work out routine? Were you an athlete in high school or anything?Arger: I only run nowadays. I played football, lacrosse and ran track in high school and I used to lift weights as well as run, but at the end of my senior year I developed a bone cyst and since then I have had two wrist surgeries and currently have a type of bone cement in my wrist so I can't really lift anymore. I do miss the team sports I used to play, but I love running and am happy I am able to do that. My wrist is not so bad that I can't lift at all - I could do some low-weight, high-rep training, but I only have so much time I can be in the gym everyday, and when it comes down to it, I would rather spend that time running.The Campus: Where do you live on campus? How do you feel about the hike to the gym?Arger: I live in Gifford and I love it. The trek to the gym is not bad at all. It is nice to have the gym on another part of campus because it really is a break from studying and everything else - when you go there, all you really have to focus on is working out.The Campus: What is your favorite thing to do on a Friday night at Midd?Arger: My usual Friday evening starts after class when I go to the gym for my run. Then I eat dinner and go into town to the art studio at Frog Hollow and work on my clay sculpture stuff - it is a nice, relaxing escape and I really love doing clay hand-building. Then I go back to my dorm and visit with friends or watch a movie or read.The Campus: What's your favorite dining hall meal?Arger: Well, I eat at Ross, and my typical meal is a salad with lots of greens with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I guess after a long run, you really just want to eat something healthy instead of something greasy or too hard to digest. That said, I love Chicken Parmesan (who doesn't?) and I really love when they have focaccia with pesto sauce.The Campus: What is your favorite TV show?Arger: My favorite TV shows are "Sex and the City" and "Absolutely Fabulous" - they are incredibly witty and just entertaining to watch.The Campus: What is your motto to live by?Arger: We only get one body, so might as well take care of it. Also, try to get as much out of college as you can.
(03/03/05 12:00am)
Author: Kevin Tierney '08 I am writing to address the college's policy on recruitment on campus. I am in favor of changing the policy so that those employers who cannot or will not sign our College's non-discrimination policy may not be allowed to recruit on campus. I truly think that this is in the best interest of any individual member of our community.First, I will have to make the assumption that you are opposed to homophobia. As a member of the Middlebury College community, I trust that you agree with the non-discrimination policy that we have, and all of its aspects. Therefore, you ought to be as opposed to discrimination based on sexual orientation as you are opposed to discrimination based on race, religion, etc.Being a person opposed to homophobia, I would assume that you are as appalled by Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) as I am. DADT is a policy whose purpose is to accommodate homophobia. It is not in place to regulate sexual activity - such regulations are already covered by fraternization rules. It is in place to prevent any individual from having to accept a peer's sexual orientation. DADT declares not only that it is perfectly permissible to be homophobic, but also that the US government will make it much easier to be homophobic in the military by eliminating the presence of non-heterosexuality from military life. This is just as unsettling as any governmental endorsement of racism or anti-Semitism would be. As a person who wants to end the injustice of DADT, what can you do? You can write to your representatives. This will accomplish a tiny amount of success, if any at all. Alternatively, you could amass a large community, such as Middlebury College, to declare its opposition to DADT by saying that it does not meet the standards of the school, and therefore we will refuse to accommodate its enforcers until they meet our standards. With the situation we have currently, this course of action is both incredibly plausible and incredibly powerful.What sacrifices would we be making by taking such an action? We would not be sacrificing the discussion of important topics. Open forums, such as they are outlined by the current policy on recruitment, are not discussions - they are simply disclaimers that require no justification. Not allowing this loophole is no great loss. In fact, I believe that by forbidding the military from recruiting on campus since DADT does not meet our standards, we would be creating discussion, not stifling it. Yale has certainly not swept the issue under the rug by barring military recruiters. It has not hidden from the issue - on the contrary, it has created large-scale public discussion. The only sacrifice that I see being made is the sacrifice of convenient access of Middlebury students to military recruiters, and vice versa. For students interested in military programs, it will mean treks off campus to obtain information and signatures - an inconvenient, but not impossible task.This sacrifice is not so great as to merit the passive condoning of DADT. DADT requires much more tremendous sacrifices. It costs the military tens of thousands of dollars annually for investigations and prosecutions. It prevents men and women in the service from being in contact with same-sex loved ones when overseas. Most significantly, though, it imposes on non-heterosexuals the closet. Incidentally, I feel that the experience of being in the closet can best be described as terror. It is the terror induced by being forced to keep a secret, which, if disclosed, could realistically jeopardize relations with your friends, peers, co-workers, faith community, employers and family members. Most of you have not personally known the terror of The closet, but to give you an idea of how traumatic it can be, research has shown that young non-heterosexual people are six times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. This is how terrifying the closet is.DADT is simply unacceptable. Its current legality has nothing to do with the fact that it is an abominable practice. If you support it, I am both profoundly disappointed, and wholly confused. It is archaic and bigoted. If you oppose it, I implore that you support a change of the Middlebury recruitment policy. By restricting access to Middlebury students, we can force our government to make a decision: do they want Midd kids, who can provide enormous help to our armed services, or do they want the comfort and ease of indoctrinated homophobia, which has no practical value? We, as Middlebury students, have a little to lose from barring military recruiters, but so much more to gain on a national level. We have the potential to help create an enormous positive change, and the end result is worth the sacrifices of temporary inconvenience.
(03/03/05 12:00am)
Author: Lauren Smith and Jodie Zhang The Middlebury Campus: How did you get your start in acting?Lauren Kiel: I started to dance when I was two, and was such a big ham in dance classes because I was always trying to take over the classes, so my mom saw the actress in me. So she signed me up for a summer camp in second or third grade, and we did Cinderella. I was the "yellow bird," and I didn't have any lines ... no wait I think I sang the lines "We'll make the dress so pretty"... that's it. Since the bird, I've been in some sort of production every summer, so there's rarely been a time when I'm not working on a show. I kinda like it that way. The Campus: What performances have you been in at Middlebury?Kiel: Last year in the First-Year Show, I was Princess Camilla and the Ugly Duckling and then I stage managed for one of the faculty shows called "Midwives," and I did "The Vagina Monologues" last year and this year. Now I'm in "Necessary Targets," which goes up in April, which is by the same woman that wrote "The Vagina Monologues."The Campus: What has been your favorite role so far?Kiel: My favorite role in general was Winifred in "Once Upon a Mattress" - there's a bit of a musical girl in this body ... Right now, I'm just amazed at how much work is being put into this play, which I love. We're doing a lot of stuff outside of rehearsal, like going to lectures and watching documentaries. The play is about Bosnian women refugees and we've also been talking to Bosnian women, so it's been really cool.The Campus: Where do you want to eventually take your acting?Kiel: Hmm... Such a hard question, I don't know! I struggle with that question all the time because in reality, if I could make the dream life for myself, I would be an incredibly successful, intelligent actress and I would have a lot of money and consistent work and a nice place to live for my family... But that doesn't always happen. The Campus: What is your favorite Broadway play?Kiel: I have like nine million! But my favorite play is probably "Once Upon A Mattress." I saw it starring Sarah Jessica Parker and she's my idol. She's so successful - she's been on Broadway, and she's hugely successful in film and TV and she's married with a family... I basically want to be her.The Campus: Besides Sarah Jessica Parker, are there any other actors that you really admire?Kiel: She's the main one.The Campus: Do you have any embarrassing moments during a performance?Kiel: Ohmygod, yes. Let me think. My god there's a million. When I was Annie a while ago, I completely blanked on the words of a song, and I was singing along and I ended up singing ... "She may be pouring his coffee, she may be pouring his tie..." which makes no sense, so that was a good one. Last year, in the First Year show, my skirt fell off during a show. That was really awkward. But that's the fun of live theatre, because in film you just go back and edit that out, but I got screwed. (laughs) You just go with it.The Campus: What do you like to do in your free time?Kiel: What free time? Um ... I guess extracurricular-wise, I'm in a show. And Bobolinks, so I'm in that - it's one of the two coed acapella groups. Rehearsals for the play are every single day, so I don't have too much time for classes...The Campus: If you don't end up acting as a career, what will you do?Kiel: I don't know ... I love teaching - it's kind of like performing except in front of a class. I'm taking psychology right now and I really like it, and I've been toying the idea of counseling.The Campus: Does anyone in your family act?Kiel: Zadie, my grandfather, was an entertainer. He played in a band. But no one in my family has done theatre.The Campus: What is the hardest part of doing theatre?Kiel: The hardest part of performing live theatre is that it's unpredictable - there's no turning back. But also, you have to get into the head of a completely different person with each show and figure out what they're doing and why they act the way they do. It's cool, which is probably why I like psychology so much. It's definitely a challenge.The Campus: Favorite movie or TV show?Kiel: "Sex and the City" is my favorite TV show, go figure.The Campus: What's your favorite part of Middlebury? What annoys you about Middlebury?Kiel: Tricky! I think it's cozy here, the small community feel is comforting, maybe at the same time that's the worst part of it ... either that or it's freezing and you go outside and your nose hairs stand up. I mean, I don't mind the cold, but when it's nose-hair-freeze-cold, I wanna go home!
(02/24/05 12:00am)
Author: SHEILA SELES Last Sunday night homosexuality held the spotlight on television. Apparently, sex does sell, and same-sex sex sells even better. The most hyped coming out occurred on the smartest show on television -"The Simpsons." The episode unfolds in typical "Simpsons" fashion. The writers take us from point A to point Z so quickly and seamlessly that we have no idea how we got to the end of the episode from the beginning. At the start of this episode, Bart and his best friend Milhouse torment a TV travel show host, who eventually gives Springfield a severe tongue-lashing and all but kills the town's tourism industry. To revive tourism the town decides to legalize gay marriage because they reason that gay people have a lot of money. This idea bothers Homer for about half a second until he realizes that he can make big money marrying same-sex couples. He gets certified as a minister on the Internet and makes a gay marriage business in his garage. The Fox network, which airs "The Simpsons," has been advertising their "gay episode" for what seems like months now. They promised that one "Simpsons" regular would come out of the closet and television critics and fans immediately began to place bets on which character it would be. Of course in its brilliant self-referential fashion, Sunday's episode addressed most of the speculations about Springfield's newest gay resident. Martin Prince, Bart's ridiculously urbane 8-year-old classmate, was one of the favorites for gay speculations. During the episode, Martin answers curious fans when he's accused of being gay on the playground, "I'm not anything yet!" Homer then tries to drum up some gay marriage business from his inseparable buddies Lenny and Carl - another couple that garnered a lot of gay speculation. Marge then urges Homer to "give them time." These are the kind of in-jokes that endear "The Simpsons" to loyal fans and TV junkies alike. So, the million-dollar question - who came out of the closet? As it turns out many speculators were right. Marge's sister Patty is a lesbian. This wasn't really much of a surprise to "Simpsons" aficionados. While her twin sister Selma has been married three times in the 16-season course of the show, Patty has remained single and blatantly uninterested in any man who is not Macgyver. When Patty comes out to Marge, Marge acts like she has dropped a huge bomb. At this moment, Homer speaks for "Simpsons" fans everywhere when he quips, "Hey, Marge. Here's another bomb - I like beer." Predictability aside, last Sunday's "Simpsons" provides the insightful and messy social commentary that has kept the show on the air for 16 seasons. While most mainstream real-life debate about gay marriage has focused on moral questions, on "The Simpsons" no one in Springfield, except for the idealistic Lisa, seems to have a legitimate moral position on the issue. The business owners in town - notably Apu decked out in short shorts - love the idea of gay marriage for the revenue it brings in, not because of any human rights concerns. Homer supports gay marriage for similar monetary reasons. The show uses Homer's garage-business to lampoon conservative arguments that gay marriage will dissolve marriage to the point where anything can marry anything. (Homer does allow people to marry anything and even quotes a "diaper fee for chimp brides.") Of course, Homer is the extreme, but he points to an issue of social importance - the institution of marriage (gay or straight) has become a commodity. The recent shotgun Vegas weddings and subsequent annulments of Nicky Hilton and Britney Spears prove that any man and woman who can afford the fee can get hitched. Where's the sanctity in that? The show does seem to come down on the side of tolerance even if it leaves the larger moral questions untouched. Marge eventually comes to terms with Patty's sexual orientation saying, "Just because you're a lesbian doesn't make you less of a bian (being)." The tough questions raised by this rather gimmicky episode prove that "The Simpsons" hasn't lost its edge. I hope that as long as American culture has problems, "The Simpsons" will be there to make us laugh at ourselves. Here's to 16 more seasons.
(02/24/05 12:00am)
Author: Kimberly Schrimsher When Middlebury College students consider the tsunami disaster in Southeast Asia, they are not likely thinking about the vastly different effects the disaster had on men and women in the region. Yet that is precisely what the College's new chair of Women's and Gender Studies (WAGS) hopes to address. Associate Professor of Women's and Gender Studies Sujata Moorti believes a WAGS perspective will help students understand why this natural disaster disproportionately affected women. "It will also help relief agencies and governments understand the ways in which male and female victims need to be differently addressed," she said. While numerous colleges and universities offer WAGS programs, Moorti says few women and gender studies programs in the United States have international perspectives. "I want Middlebury to be on the cutting edge," she said.Moorti's multidimensional awareness impressed Middlebury's search committee last spring when it reviewed a dozen candidates for the new tenured faculty position."We were looking for exceptional candidates with proven records of excellence in teaching, scholarship and service," said Vice President for Academic Affairs and search committee member Alison Byerly. "Because the position was intended to bring leadership to the program, we wanted someone of broad-ranging interests who would be able to work collaboratively with colleagues across campus in a variety of fields."Until this point, according to Professor of Theatre and Women's and Gender Studies Cheryl Faraone, faculty members in other departments rotated in holding the title of WAGS director. "It was difficult for WAGS to operate with the same level of ongoing departmental thinking as other academic programs," said Faraone.The arrival of Moorti from Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia promises enriched course offerings, a stronger international component in the program, symposia and the integration of feminist scholarship into the social science and humanities disciplines."A liberal arts school is closer to what I want as a professor," said Moorti, who says she came to Middlebury because of the students. "If a liberal arts education is designed to help us become active participants in community, gender becomes an integral variable one has to take into account. [It] saturates every aspect of our lives and must be considered by all scholars irrespective of their own sex." While living in India, Moorti worked as a journalist for national newspapers before moving to the U.S. to earn her Ph.D. in WAGS from the University of Maryland, College Park. Her appointment as Middlebury's WAGS chair is already transforming the department."In the two weeks since she has been directing the program, she has brought forth a number of initiatives and has begun collaborative ventures with other departments and institutes," said Faraone. Others have commented on her energy and enthusiasm. "I plan to diversify the range of courses offered under the WAGS designation. This should allow students understand the important interventions feminist scholarship has made in academia and help them grasp the multi-and inter-disciplinary nature of this field," said Moorti. This semester, Moorti is teaching two classes: "Foundation of Women and Gender Studies" and "Mobile Women," a class that focuses on women who migrate in search of jobs. "Bringing a gendered perspective to the analysis of any situation can offer a richer and more nuanced account than one that is gender blind," said Moorti. "In the arena of social policy, gender is an essential category that must be considered to ensure the larger social good." With Moorti in charge, colleagues have great hopes for the future of the WAGS department. "We were impressed by the breadth of her interests and research, and the way in which her work connects gender issues with questions of race, class, ethnicity and nationalism," said Byerly. "We felt that she would be an excellent teacher who could expand our course offerings in WAGS and connect the program to International Studies, Film and Media Culture and other areas of the curriculum."A reception was held in honor of Moorti's arrival on campus at Chellis House last Thursday afternoon from 4:30 to 6 p.m.
(02/24/05 12:00am)
Author: Virginia Lawton Harper "I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974."It is with these confusingly contradictory words that Jeffrey Eugenides begins his second novel, "Middlesex," an epic that follows three generations of a Greek family from a small Turkish town to their establishment in Detroit's Greek community. In the midst of a century of gossip-worthy history, Cal, our narrator stands alone, a 41-year-old man in the Foreign Service office in Germany. Only he is qualified to tell the story for one very apparent reason - born physically a girl, and hormonally a boy, his life story is the climax to a tale about his family's history. Beginning with Cal's grandparents in the "old country," the story follows the immigrants' struggle in their new country and their children's rise in stature thanks to a lucrative chain of cheap hot dog stands in Detroit -- a ready symbol of realized opportunity for economic and social renewal in the United States. Eugenides uses "Middlesex" to question gender roles in a traditional family structure and to emphasize the fluidity of gender. Cal, then, is the perfect narrator because he has lived as several different versions of his self - a young girl clad in frilly dresses, an adolescent woman questioning her sexuality and her attraction to her female friends, a runaway boy who tries to escape America's strict gender definitions and a single man, working in Europe as he hides from reality. Yet despite Cal's male hormonal makeup, his masculine physique and his desire to be a heterosexual man, one obstacle remains -- he lacks male reproductive organs, including a penis. The manuscript that Cal writes, the words of "Middlesex," is for him a way to come to terms with his family, his past and his sexuality. In the text, he confronts a life that he has escaped for years by continuously running from it. In writing, he comes to understand himself, molding his history in order to form a phallus that for the first time in his life gives him a clear sense of his own gender, one that he establishes as neither masculine nor feminine.Cal's story coherently skips between a chronological narrative, the memoirs of a family displaced by war and his own present life in Berlin. The most striking feature of "Middlesex" is the atmosphere that the family creates - calm, quiet and homey - in the midst of continual upheaval. Eugenides masterfully weaves an innate peace into the story of the Stephanides' family even in the midst of incest, dark secrets, mafia affiliations, race riots, gory murders and endless sex. While these stresses at times create unrest and anxiety for the novel's characters, they never wreak havoc on the family as a whole, a testament to the strength and solidarity that unconditional love brings to relationships.Eugenides successfully fuses the epic tone of Homer with a suggestion of mysticism, reminiscent of the work of Gabriel García Marquez. Cal's grandmother, Desdemona, works into the narrative as his connection to the family's vague and numinous past. Arriving at Ellis Island in 1922, Desdemona finds herself required by inspectors to cut her long braids of hair into a stylish bob in order to facilitate integration into American culture. Horrified, she pledges never to cut it again, a promise that she keeps. As "Middlesex" unwinds, so too does Desdemona's hair, and as she grows older and more senile, it takes on a life of its own that mystically speaks to Cal of the family's past - a long yarn that he eventually finds he must unwind to discover himself."Middlesex" was published in 2002 by Picador and received the Pulitzer Prize.
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Author: Matt Kunzweiler Jeffrey Toobin, CNN senior legal analyst, staff writer for the New Yorker and bestselling author of "Too Close to Call: The Thirty-Six-Day Battle to Decide the 2000 Election," spoke to an overcrowded lecture room in McCardell Bicentennial Hall on Monday afternoon.Longtime friend and Middlebury Scholar in Residence Bill McKibben introduced Toobin as someone uniquely able to "cross the boundaries between elite and mass journalism." As Toobin took the floor, this became immediately apparent - he covered a wide range of legal cases with noticeable ease and charisma, making his topics accessible to all members of the audience.Toobin's lecture covered two main topics. First, he addressed the way in which high-profile legal cases have occupied the media's focus since the O.J. Simpson trial. Second, he discussed how politicians have been proved more and more willing to use the legal system as a battleground to settle issues split down party lines.Toobin pointed to the O.J. Simpson trial as the media event responsible for inspiring the public's infatuation with high-profile celebrity trials - or "entertainments." The O.J. spectacle involved almost every one of America's favorite preoccupations - "Hollywood, sports, sex and violence." The trial "created its own demand," said Toobin. Before O.J., the job of television legal analyst did not exist. After the public learned that courtroom drama could be just as engrossing as any other news story - or daytime drama, for that matter - the media has been eager to meet this new demographic. Monica, Martha and Kobe have all been drenched by the media's spotlight. And even the Scott Peterson trial - "a celebrity trial without a celebrity" - has received ample attention. Toobin joked that ever since the public's fascination with O.J. "there has been a 'trial of the century' almost every year." Toobin then discussed what he called "the merged political/legal event," which refers to any case where politicians have sought to settle bipartisan disputes through the legal system. These events often concern "public interest issues" such as abortion, the environment and gay marriage. He acknowledged that the media's recent attention to celebrity trials has helped make political cases more accessible to the average viewer, as the pop trials have helped familiarizedaudiences with courtroom vocabulary and the legal system. In these merged political/legal events, Toobin claimed that Republicans have exhibited a "ruthlessness" unrivaled by Democrats. As critical as this may seem, Toobin admitted that the Republicans' legal strategies have been highly effective in achieving their desired ends, compared to the Democrats' relative passivity in this regard. This has been demonstrated by the Clinton impeachment, the 2000 presidential election recount and the Gray Davis recall.Commenting on the current state of television news, Toobin mentioned that network news viewership has fallen in recent years, while cable news ratings are on the rise. He noted that Fox News offers a "European" approach (that is, a perspective influenced by a certain political party). When asked whether CNN would ever become the left alternative, counterbalancing Fox News, Toobin assured the audience that CNN's mission has been to hold an objective middle ground, and he could see no reason for this to change.Those who heard Toobin's lecture were unanimously impressed by his presence and knowledge, but many of the college students in the audience were more interested in the journalistic process than the specific legal cases. Toobin addressed this quickly, explaining that the greatest challenge of writing for the New Yorker is often coming up with story ideas that will not be featured in the New York Times or on the local nightly news. Toobin was, however, dealing with a somewhat divided audience - the older, non-student audience members ended up dominating the question and answer session by asking for Toobin's wisdom on a number of specific legal cases in the news. Although he could not offer greatly detailed perceptions into these issues due to time constraints and the variety of questions, Toobin was still able to offer impressive insights with the succinctness of a true television pro.
