Teeing Off

Author: Peter Baumann

Let me start out by saying that I would consider myself a pretty tolerant and open-minded sports fan. I have my teams, for sure, but I usually confine my time spent watching games to rooting for a certain team, rather than rooting against the other. This all changed after I moved to New England. After three years I am ready to say without remorse or inhibition that I actively root against Boston sports teams.

You know what the worst part is? I actually like most of the teams. Tom Brady might be one of my favorite players in the NFL. A hard-working, cerebral quarterback who is successful as much because of his mental preparation as his physical. Kevin Garnett is a hard-working superstar, a rarity in the glorified street-ball league that is today's NBA. And the Red Sox? What is there not to like? Between Dustin Pedroia diving for any ball within twenty feet and Big Papi smiling like some sort of Dominican Demon every time the Sox start a rally this team might be one of the easiest to root for in the entire league.

So why are Boston teams the only ones I actively cheer against? Easy, the fans. You know who I'm talking about. Every group has at least one "Masshole": that kid who walks up to you the day after your team loses to the Sox and proceeds to offer a profanity-laced explanation for why your team sucks (although to be fair, it is often difficult to tell the difference between "Sawx" and "Sucks," as in: "Dude! Matt Holliday sucks. Go Sawx!")

I've developed a theory when it comes to Red Sox fans that I think can apply to Boston fans as a whole (apart from the fact that the vast majority of them are bandwagon fans - know any Bruins fans? I'll bet you will if they make the NHL finals in the spring). Red Sox fans can be divided into two groups: pre-2004 and post-2004. The post-2004 fans became Red Sox fans when joining the Nation was the hip thing to do. They can be easily identified from the Pink and Green hats they usually wear.

The pre-2004 Sox fans are a whole different breed, though. They are diehards - this I will give them. However, they were miserable for so long that now that the Sox are good it's not enough that they win - no, everyone else around them has to be miserable too. Read any Boston-based sports blog after they win a series. The story isn't: Sox win again! But rather: Angels Blow it in Boston! A psychologist would call this an inferiority complex - I just call it lame.

So until I can trust that Boston sports fans will respect my teams as much as I respect theirs I will be forced to continue to root for the opposition. Damn, this Lester kid looks like he's going to be pretty good too.