BEYOND THE

Author: Claire Nieslon and Lisie Mehlman

SPRING BREAK WOOHOO!!! While others prefer the crazy debauchery and brouhaha of exotic locales, Claire, Lisie and six of our friends who love us so much they wish to remain unidentified ventured off for a relaxing week of fun in the sun in the city that US Weekly claimes is this week's "Celebrity Hotspot" - good old Palm Springs, Californ-i-a.

We vegged in the hot So-Cal sun and tried to soak up as many rays as possible. Poolside, lots of "Mean Girls" quotes - "You can't sit with us!" - could be heard, and lots of yard boys in pickups could be seen passing by. We worried that friend termed number four - the "Coop" of our clan - might try to pick one up (in his pickup. Get it?)

When not catching up on the latest developments in the Brad and Jen drama or pretending to read "The Concise History of the Russian Revolution" (which turned out not to be so concise after all - damn Bolsheviks), we resorted to the swimming games of our childhood.

Once the sun went down, things really heated up. When not out carousing in the happening gay bars around town or the singular non-gay bar, Zelda's, we could be found playing charades. Really intensely. Almost so competitively that Markandbar thought about intervening. We charaded random Middlebury people - that's right, it could have been YOU - who we don't actually know but who have become staples in our daily conversation. "Tall Weird Guy" was surprisingly difficult to act out. However, many of our friends (numbers two, three and five) found it rather easy to portray Lisie's awkwardness. There was a lot of acting out of Regina George, as well (for those who do not worship "Mean Girls" to the extent that Friend Number Four does, she is the Queen Bee). Another game that got so intense we feared it might culminate in a revolution, reminiscent of the 1917 Russian Revolution (again, damn Bolsheviks), was Scene It. This movie trivia game was absolutely delightful, and really gave Claire the chance to declare herself a Hollywood whiz. She failed so miserably that we are still not convinced that Idaho has movies. In fact, she fell asleep in the middle of the game. We remain unsure if this was evidence of Claire's serious commitment to becoming geriatric while in The PS, or if it was just another manifestation of her narcolepsy.

The fact that we were its oldest visitors did not in any way diminish the magic that is Soak City, the nearby water park that provided a fun day's excursion. Friend Number Five declared, after having been there a mere five minutes, that she wanted to visit this wondrous destination on her honeymoon. We went on all the rides - even the straight down scary one which left battle wounds on Lisie. She had tried to chicken out, but the prodding and taunting of the 11-year-olds in line behind her was enough incentive for her to take the plunge (Haha. Plunge. Get it?) We would tell you to visit the Facebook group "Soak City 2005" for more information on this Palm Springs gem and a parody of "I was drunk all Spring Break 2005 at this all-inclusive resort in some tourist Mexican destination," but then the true identities of our so-called friends would be revealed.

This trip was all Lisie had dreamed of, and more, much like the famed Roadtrip 2004 with Friend Number Six that is covered in depth in last September's column. And no, there is no Facebook group about it. Had Friend Number Five - the Facebook group slut of the clan - been there, perhaps there would be one. Although all we have to show for our trip is some peeling skin from bad sunburns, we are glad our only battle wounds are from Soak City and not a failed attempt at Revolution like Russia's of 1905 (One last time. Damn Bolsheviks. Or Mensheviks. Don't tell Professor West, but we still don't really understand the difference.) Regardless, Professor West - please consider this mention in a highly regarded Campus column when grading our papers. Thank you.