Beyond the Bubble

Author: CLAIRE NIELSON AND LISIE MEHLMAN

After a months-long hiatus, Middlebury's own beyond the bubble extraordinaires reemerged in the worn and slightly smelly Roo driving along Route 7. We had held, at one time, great hopes of snowshoeing and tellemarking and finding an outdoor adventure as stimulating and rewarding as "the tennis debacle" (see April 23, 2004 edition). Claire had only agreed to this on the condition that there would be no animal noises involved. However, we weren't feeling all too physical, and although tempted to revisit our little red-checked table at the restaurant formerly known as Baba's, instead, we just decided to hit up the Verizon store. Claire felt that a lack of cell phone was "salting her game," however, let's be honest, Claire has no game, and her phone doesn't really ring that often.

Anyhow, to Verizon we went. Upon entering the somewhat barren and remarkably large Verizon Wireless (said in the deep and raspy voice of James Earl Jones which Lisie constantly attempts to imitate unsuccessfully), we were greeted by an over-eager salesperson who, although we were, in fact, the only ones in the store, insisted we put our names on a list for help.

While getting rung up, Claire and Lisie brainstormed ideas for their wedding speeches. The guy behind the counter got a little too excited and felt the need to contribute. Apparently he makes quite a wedding cake. Claire felt judged when she shared with Jim her life long plan of having cheesecake. Apparently cheesecake doesn't stack well. The dejection was made worse when, after Claire dropped the pen, he asked if she was "violent much?" It's not an understatement to say we ran for the door. No, seriously, we ran.

The only cure for Claire's wounded ego was a grande nonfat pumpkin spice latte, no foam, extra whip. Starbucks it was. Although getting out of the Roo proved somewhat difficult for Lisie. Apparently walking on ice isn't Lisie's forte. Her spill on the cold, cold cement not only cheered Claire's spirits but also reminded us of an adventure we can't believe we forgot to chronicle for our beloved audience (We think that the less than stellar articles at the beginning of the year may have led to a permanent decrease in readership. Thanks for your loyalty, though, Markandbar.) Of what are we speaking you might ask? Just a little incident that will go down in history as the day Lisie almost died.

Lisie is what we like to call, politely, a novice skier. However, she decided to try her hand at the "big kids" chair lift and then a run down Proctor. With a name like that, she couldn't imagine it being anything but safe, warm, and non-judgemental. She was even hoping for some curtains. However, Proctor was closed, and somehow she ended up on Ross. It was cold, it was sterile, she almost died. In summary, Claire, who, thanks to Chris and Pris' direction and guidance on the slopes of Idaho, is an expert skier, aided Lisie in surviving her 45 minute trip down the mountain. The highlights of which included Lisie learning to falling leaf. Lisie claiming that she was going to take her skis off and walk. Claire telling Lisie to shut the hell up and turn. An impolite boy yelling "yardsale" when Lisie took one of the finer of her 14 spills. Claire responding with words that did not necessarily demonstrate her Charlotte from Sex and the City wannabe persona. NOONE would have judged Lisie with such vehemence on Proctor. Please. Lisie was overcome with relief upon making it down the mountain, and hearing that she had actually survived a black diamond trail did make her laugh, although not enough to convince her that staying off the slopes for a while was a good idea. She is hoping for an OC episode featuring a ski trip so that she can live vicariously through the gang, and also because we really want to see if Marissa can manage to make it down the hills drunk.