Justin Time For the Death of Pop

Author: Lanford Beard

Is Justin Timberlake's solo debut "Justified?" Decidedly not.
Timberlake said he wanted to do something "different" and "more me" with his new CD. If by "more me" he means contrived and by "different" he means exactly the same, then Timberlake is right on track.
Many have touted this album as Generation Y's answer to Michael Jackson's "Off the Wall," which positions JT as the new "King of Pop."
Timberlake feigned humility in the British magazine Attitude, saying, "I don't think you can compare ["Justified" with "Off the Wall"]. I wouldn't do that to myself. That was a moment in time when Michael was willing to show the world exactly what he could do by himself. He was no longer just a part of the Jackson 5."
The irony was lost on the drooling reporter, who responded, "But isn't this the moment you show the world what you can do without *NSync?"
Note to Timberlake: You are not Michael Jackson, even if you have dreamed about this since you "was a little boy."
No, Justy, you are more like Lionel Richie after he left the Commodores. A few guilty-pleasure, poptastic hits may come your way, but ultimately there will be a scandal (there always is), and you will be conveniently placed in pop exile (or forced to return to *NSync with head bowed, whichever is worse).
But never fear, Little Prince, you've got a year or two of hits served to you on a platinum platter, and you can always stage your glorious return in some maudlin nostalgia flick like "The Preacher's Wife." I'm sure Mickey Mouse will recognize a man-in-need-of-a-comeback when he sees one.
So, on to the business at hand.
"Justified" opens with "Señorita," a favorite of Timberlake's femme du jour, Alyssa Milano (best known for "Charmed" and "Who's The Boss" -- seems Justin can't get enough of other former child stars). If "Señorita" speaks for the whole album, then I pity anyone who has parted with the cash-money to buy this piece of offal.
Though the album is much more enjoyable on the whole than "Señorita" would have us believe, it does foreshadow the derivative and unbelievable nature of the forthcoming songs inasmuch as Timberlake attempts to seem like a "playa."
Note number two to Timberlake: Just because you collaborate with Timbaland and Pharrell from N.E.R.D. doesn't mean you got game, Memphis boy.
Next we have "Like I Love You," Timberlake's debut single and for my money, the best track on the album. It isn't as drastically different from *NSync as Justin would have us believe, but it does blend a variety of different styles, rhythms and hit-making lines such as "I just love your brain."
Bottom line: "Like I Love You" gives the album the most hit potential because it lends itself to a great dance routine, and apparently that is all we ask of our pop stars today.
Among the tracks clearly recognizable as Timbaland's contributions is the next joint, "(Oh No) What You Got." However, Timberlake chooses "Cry Me a River" for his second single. With a title stolen from jazz, background sounds direct from Timbaland's Aaliyah collaboration "Are You That Somebody?" and a video that spells out the Britney break-up, this song is a ready-made hit.
The lead guitar riff from "Take It Here" -- I swear -- sounds like Weezer's "Island in the Sun." I keep waiting for Justin to say "hip-hip," but all he does is talk about what he would do to get with some girl. Apparently he loves her that much, but I don't trust the fact that Timberlake would actually do these things himself rather than sending his assistant.
And I think that distrust is the problem with pop music today and, more specifically, Timberlake's solo debut. It's all too easy, too polished, too sampled and, above all, too contrived. Clearly, Timberlake doesn't get that as he again compares his work and MJ's.
He reflects, "'Thriller'... to me isn't as special as Off the Wall. [Off the Wall] feels less constructed, less organized. 'Thriller' was like, let's get Eddie Van Halen because he's the hot guitarist, let's get Paul McCartney so we've got a Beatle in there."
If "Justified" is supposed to be more like "Off the Wall," then how do we explain the necessity of a veritable star parade on the album? Among the name-dropping possibilities are hot new act The Clipse, producers-of-the-moment the Neptunes and Timbaland.
Timberlake even involves the Rolling Stones (maybe unintentionally) on "Nothin' Else," itself all-too-reminiscent of "Paint It Black." I dare say this new R&B fusion of Mick and the boys' work is even scarier than the original.
Perhaps the most earnest song on the album, "Still on My Brain" hits on a strand of emotion unfamiliar to what we know as pre-packaged pop splendor. However, we soon hear the la-la-las of "My Cherie Amour," and Timberlake's trademark falsetto sounds hollow.
Stevie Wonder he ain't.
If I had it my way, the next single would be "(And She Said) Take Me Now." It has the same appeal of "Like I Love You," intermingling synthesized rhythms and old- school instrumentation.
However, an intense study in the governing laws of pop music tells me that Justin will probably put out a ballad like "Take It from Here" next in order to keep the teenage girls swooning (and buying records, merchandise and Sharpie pens for autographs).
There is a certain amount of pleasure in the biographical speculation around Timberlake's songs.
For example, the song "Never Again" begins like a typical *NSync bubble-gum ballad, but the lyrics are biting and unforgiving ("Girl, you lied straight to my face/ Looking in my eyes/ And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life."). Who do you think Justin doesn't want to forgive?
On that note, he can take credit for writing his own lyrics. But that could ultimately be a liability.
After all, the hunks from 98° wrote such classic lines as "You're my sunshine after the rain, you're the cure against the fear and the pain." And Britney herself did pen the virtuoso piece "Dear Diary."
When I listen to that tripe, I'm left with very few options. First, I think maybe middle-aged men are better at articulating their pains and trials than today's average 20-year-old. Then I think, well, maybe I should just lower my standards. Finally, I start to silently praise Eminem: He is clever. He has shown evolution as an artist. He knows that his popularity is based on an act, a farce. And then I want to shoot myself.
So, as a card-carrying teenybopper I bow my head in shameful submission when making this assessment, but having surveyed the new releases from supposed dynamos like Timberlake, former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and Christina "Raccoon Eyes" Aguilera, I must now officially call the time of death on pop music. Disregard the weeping.