2008 Woodie Awards
Shenanigans: My senior crush list
Alex Garlick
Issue date: 5/8/08 Section: Opinions
1. Dan Streitfeld - Thanks for your third anti-Garlick op-ed, it's great for my overflowing vainglory.
2. The Bunker - There once was a dream of a weekly Sketch-Cullough dance party with cheap beer, Red Bull and long lines to make it feel exclusive. Now, the dream comes true every time you bunk.
3. MiddleburyConfessional.com - I've always wanted an anonymous forum where I could post libelous character attacks from the privacy of my own home. I bet Dan Streitfeld loves it. In all seriousness, I think a good portion of this campus should realize that it is supposed to be a confessional, in which you comment about yourself. Using it to make other people feel bad is cowardly, and if you use it for that, you should be ashamed of yourself.
4. Barack Obama - You cannot blame me for supporting him. I am a well-educated white man, I come from a rich part of a rich state and go to an acutely expensive elite institution of higher learning. Plus, I've questioned my allegiance to the Democratic Party in the past … I am his base.
5. Hillary Clinton & John McCain - There is really nothing more you can ask for from these two if you are an aspiring political pundit/satirist. First, Hillary dragged this race out for months with hardly a prayer of being nominated, giving me weeks of easy material. Then, she takes on a new persona for me to mock - Blue Collar Hillary! Seriously, she has been giving speeches from pickup trucks (I wonder if she talks about her experiences at Wellesley and Harvard on top of that F-150?) and is calling Barack an elitist. And then she and McCain propose a summer gas tax holiday that is the most egregious example of election year pandering I can imagine. They may as well offer a $50 coupon if you promise to vote for a white person in November. This tax exemption is a policy disaster. Aren't we trying to reduce our dependence on foreign oil? Why then would we subsidize it when the prices are astronomical? Don't believe me - two hundred economists denounced their plans on Monday, including four Nobel laureates. Hillary's reply - "I'm not going to put my lot in with economists." (Do you think she picked that up at Wellesley or Harvard?)
2. The Bunker - There once was a dream of a weekly Sketch-Cullough dance party with cheap beer, Red Bull and long lines to make it feel exclusive. Now, the dream comes true every time you bunk.
3. MiddleburyConfessional.com - I've always wanted an anonymous forum where I could post libelous character attacks from the privacy of my own home. I bet Dan Streitfeld loves it. In all seriousness, I think a good portion of this campus should realize that it is supposed to be a confessional, in which you comment about yourself. Using it to make other people feel bad is cowardly, and if you use it for that, you should be ashamed of yourself.
4. Barack Obama - You cannot blame me for supporting him. I am a well-educated white man, I come from a rich part of a rich state and go to an acutely expensive elite institution of higher learning. Plus, I've questioned my allegiance to the Democratic Party in the past … I am his base.
5. Hillary Clinton & John McCain - There is really nothing more you can ask for from these two if you are an aspiring political pundit/satirist. First, Hillary dragged this race out for months with hardly a prayer of being nominated, giving me weeks of easy material. Then, she takes on a new persona for me to mock - Blue Collar Hillary! Seriously, she has been giving speeches from pickup trucks (I wonder if she talks about her experiences at Wellesley and Harvard on top of that F-150?) and is calling Barack an elitist. And then she and McCain propose a summer gas tax holiday that is the most egregious example of election year pandering I can imagine. They may as well offer a $50 coupon if you promise to vote for a white person in November. This tax exemption is a policy disaster. Aren't we trying to reduce our dependence on foreign oil? Why then would we subsidize it when the prices are astronomical? Don't believe me - two hundred economists denounced their plans on Monday, including four Nobel laureates. Hillary's reply - "I'm not going to put my lot in with economists." (Do you think she picked that up at Wellesley or Harvard?)
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