2008 Woodie Awards
A preface to lunch: I won't be wearing a suit this summer
James O'Brien
Issue date: 5/8/08 Section: Opinions
Thank God the school year is over! And what a year it's been … etc. … Now I can enjoy myself for a couple months before hitting the proverbial wall at the beginning of August when I start to fantasize about Middlebury. Then I'll get to Middlebury and start to fantasize about August.
I'm currently looking for a summer job. I haven't had any takers, which is surprising given my stellar resume. My past summer jobs include working as an ice-cream technician at a local establishment and serving as lieutenant of the activities department in a nursing home.
I was fired from the ice cream gig after about a month because my boss told me, "You don't seem to care about ice cream." I told her that if she was insinuating that I should somehow be treating ice cream as if it were my autographed Backstreet Boys poster, then she was a loony. No, I did not care very much about ice cream, nor did I very much enjoy crushing the hopes and dreams of many children by informing them that we did not offer sprinkles or flavor samples.
For my next summer job, I wheeled elderly people into and out of elevators, called Bingo and tried to get them to reminisce about their glory days. A typical morning would consist of me reading the morning paper to a crowd of 15 eccentric senior citizens whom I'd assembled in front of me in three rows.
Dottie S. had to sit near me in a special chair with a buckle. I made sure that she was restrained so that she wouldn't wander off in search of her past while I was trying to get her to reminisce. Phyllis, a former schoolteacher, was far too mentally capable to be grouped in with the others, and, unfortunately, she knew it. She only came to a few morning groups and usually left her room only to smoke cigarettes and her fellow residents in Bingo. I was glad that Phyllis usually stayed in her room, because she was the only resident who was aware enough to notice what a crappy job I was doing. There was an elderly couple - Dr. Bill and Emily - who would eat sugar, salt and ketchup packets during the morning group. I can't imagine that this was very healthy for them, but, since Bill was a doctor, the staff didn't seem too worried.
I'm currently looking for a summer job. I haven't had any takers, which is surprising given my stellar resume. My past summer jobs include working as an ice-cream technician at a local establishment and serving as lieutenant of the activities department in a nursing home.
I was fired from the ice cream gig after about a month because my boss told me, "You don't seem to care about ice cream." I told her that if she was insinuating that I should somehow be treating ice cream as if it were my autographed Backstreet Boys poster, then she was a loony. No, I did not care very much about ice cream, nor did I very much enjoy crushing the hopes and dreams of many children by informing them that we did not offer sprinkles or flavor samples.
For my next summer job, I wheeled elderly people into and out of elevators, called Bingo and tried to get them to reminisce about their glory days. A typical morning would consist of me reading the morning paper to a crowd of 15 eccentric senior citizens whom I'd assembled in front of me in three rows.
Dottie S. had to sit near me in a special chair with a buckle. I made sure that she was restrained so that she wouldn't wander off in search of her past while I was trying to get her to reminisce. Phyllis, a former schoolteacher, was far too mentally capable to be grouped in with the others, and, unfortunately, she knew it. She only came to a few morning groups and usually left her room only to smoke cigarettes and her fellow residents in Bingo. I was glad that Phyllis usually stayed in her room, because she was the only resident who was aware enough to notice what a crappy job I was doing. There was an elderly couple - Dr. Bill and Emily - who would eat sugar, salt and ketchup packets during the morning group. I can't imagine that this was very healthy for them, but, since Bill was a doctor, the staff didn't seem too worried.
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posted 7/30/08 @ 3:00 PM EST
I wouldnt want to wear a suit either, its so much easier just showing up in a tshirt especially in the hot summer.
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