2008 Woodie Awards
op-ed: Ad campaigns erring on pathetic
James O'Brien
Issue date: 11/1/07 Section: Opinions
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Consistently terrible television advertisements haunted my Sunday sports viewing this week. This worried me because, as you may well know, television advertisement excellence is the indicator that most accurately reflects the state of our nation. We may be at code red status. During the first three innings of the final game of the World Series, FOX thrice forced its viewers to watch advertisements featuring naked old people in individual bathtubs who were holding hands while watching the sunset. This was followed up by a voice-over guy telling us that Cialis is great when the time is right. Like most Americans, watching elderly folks sit nude in their tubs does not compel me to ask my doctor about over-priced erectile dysfunction tablets. More importantly, it doesn't make my grandfather want Cialis, either. Grampy's not that into naked old people he doesn't know.
The most irritating and persistent of all commercials were the auto commercials. Chevrolet's "This Is Our Country" ad campaign, which featured the Mesozoic-era musical stylings of John Mellencamp as the back-drop to a patriotic montage, confused me by stating the obvious. I actually started to wonder, "Wait, is it our country?" Chevrolet also aired another great commercial featuring their Chevy Malibu sedan. It depicts several masked men running out of a bank with bags of money. They jump into their car - a car which, mind you, is not a Chevy Malibu - and, immediately, cop cars encircle their automobile. Uh-oh. Inexplicably, however, the cops run past the robbers' crappy car and into the bank. Meanwhile, we hear, "Soon there will be a car you can't ignore. The 2008 Chevy Malibu." Well, I may be overlooking something here, but if I had to choose between a Malibu that gets the attention of Middlebury residents and an invisible car that can rob a bank, I'm not getting the Malibu.
Ford Motor Company's slogan for their trucks is "Built Ford Tough." I wouldn't use this type of slogan for my O'Brien trucks, mainly because it doesn't mean anything. "Ford" is not an acceptable modifier for toughness. I can't gauge how tough "Ford" is, except that it must fall somewhere between the toughness levels of the cast of "300" and that of "Superbabies: Baby Genuises 2." I'll concede that "Built Ford Tough" clearly conjures up a superior level of strength than that of "Built Kia/Daewoo Tough," but I still think Ford should clarify. If they just changed their slogan to "Our Trucks are Tough, We Swear" sales would skyrocket.
The most irritating and persistent of all commercials were the auto commercials. Chevrolet's "This Is Our Country" ad campaign, which featured the Mesozoic-era musical stylings of John Mellencamp as the back-drop to a patriotic montage, confused me by stating the obvious. I actually started to wonder, "Wait, is it our country?" Chevrolet also aired another great commercial featuring their Chevy Malibu sedan. It depicts several masked men running out of a bank with bags of money. They jump into their car - a car which, mind you, is not a Chevy Malibu - and, immediately, cop cars encircle their automobile. Uh-oh. Inexplicably, however, the cops run past the robbers' crappy car and into the bank. Meanwhile, we hear, "Soon there will be a car you can't ignore. The 2008 Chevy Malibu." Well, I may be overlooking something here, but if I had to choose between a Malibu that gets the attention of Middlebury residents and an invisible car that can rob a bank, I'm not getting the Malibu.
Ford Motor Company's slogan for their trucks is "Built Ford Tough." I wouldn't use this type of slogan for my O'Brien trucks, mainly because it doesn't mean anything. "Ford" is not an acceptable modifier for toughness. I can't gauge how tough "Ford" is, except that it must fall somewhere between the toughness levels of the cast of "300" and that of "Superbabies: Baby Genuises 2." I'll concede that "Built Ford Tough" clearly conjures up a superior level of strength than that of "Built Kia/Daewoo Tough," but I still think Ford should clarify. If they just changed their slogan to "Our Trucks are Tough, We Swear" sales would skyrocket.
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