2008 Woodie Awards
the ethicist
Amanda Greene
Issue date: 10/10/07 Section: Features
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This past weekend I was at Orange Crush, dancing to Jesse's Girl when a friend of mine (Girl) was approached by a boy (Guy) from her economics class. "Approached" is probably not the most appropriate word to use, as accosted more accurately describes the nature of their interaction. Guy forcefully hip-checked Girl away from her friends, and proceeded to grab Girl and hold her in a manner that restricted all forms of defensive movement.
Guy's desire to "hold her in his arms late at night" nullified his sense of social propriety, and created a situation that effectively crushed any future chance of a late night (or daytime) rendezvous with Girl. I wondered when situations (a late night dance party) and substances (alcohol) make it okay for someone to act in a way that counters their "normal" personality. College students have always used alcohol as a social lubricant, but when does relying on alcohol as a social crutch become desperate?
There is a fine line between alcohol-induced friendliness, and alcohol-induced creepiness. Alcohol as an icebreaker is acceptable in circumstances where two individuals are already acquainted. It's refreshing to see your lab partner outside of Orgo wearing a tank top instead of a lab coat. Complications arise when students use alcohol as a means to justify overly gregarious, and by any other means uncomfortable, interactions with an ex-flame, or the beautiful-and-intimidating girl who has had a steady boyfriend for the past two years. Seven beers in is not the time to make new friends.
As a rule of thumb, students should not rely on alcohol to facilitate an interaction, or a situation that they would otherwise be uncomfortable in. If you wouldn't talk to someone sober, then you probably shouldn't disclose the innermost depths of your soul while intoxicated.
That said, unexpected circumstances are bound to arise. We've all had Saturday night lead to Sunday's head-banging, I wish I were under-the-table-wrapped-in-a-blanket realizations. How, then, should such situations be remedied?
Guy's desire to "hold her in his arms late at night" nullified his sense of social propriety, and created a situation that effectively crushed any future chance of a late night (or daytime) rendezvous with Girl. I wondered when situations (a late night dance party) and substances (alcohol) make it okay for someone to act in a way that counters their "normal" personality. College students have always used alcohol as a social lubricant, but when does relying on alcohol as a social crutch become desperate?
There is a fine line between alcohol-induced friendliness, and alcohol-induced creepiness. Alcohol as an icebreaker is acceptable in circumstances where two individuals are already acquainted. It's refreshing to see your lab partner outside of Orgo wearing a tank top instead of a lab coat. Complications arise when students use alcohol as a means to justify overly gregarious, and by any other means uncomfortable, interactions with an ex-flame, or the beautiful-and-intimidating girl who has had a steady boyfriend for the past two years. Seven beers in is not the time to make new friends.
As a rule of thumb, students should not rely on alcohol to facilitate an interaction, or a situation that they would otherwise be uncomfortable in. If you wouldn't talk to someone sober, then you probably shouldn't disclose the innermost depths of your soul while intoxicated.
That said, unexpected circumstances are bound to arise. We've all had Saturday night lead to Sunday's head-banging, I wish I were under-the-table-wrapped-in-a-blanket realizations. How, then, should such situations be remedied?
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