2008 Woodie Awards
"Light blue, Light blue, Panthers gonna eat you!" we shouted, quickly dispersing from Pearsons Lounge to run at full tilt towards the steps of Mead Chapel. Forty minutes later, while the seven 12-year-old boys we were partnered with rushed to claim victory in the scavenger hunt, the four College students collapsed, battered and puffing, into armchairs.
In a move that would seem to be stereotypical of the communist People's Republic of China, a new regulation has been passed to standardize the mobile phone chargers used in the country. One might say that this regulation is just an example of the Chinese government flexing its muscle over its citizens, but the truth of the matter is that the decision to standardize the chargers is logical, and is an example of a small technological policy change that can have great effects.
Masturbation. That's right, I said it. M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N. Let's be honest: we all do it. Especially here at Midd, where we are infamously celibate, masturbation becomes a key part of your routine to stay sane. Who's never gone back to their room just to masturbate? Had a bad day? Solution: masturbate! It's a cure-all along with Vitamin C and a good night's sleep.
Frustrated with the speed of dial-up Internet access at home, I decide to drive the 20 minutes to campus to check my e-mail in the library. As I step out of my car, I hear a faint, unremitting yell coming from somewhere on campus. It's Feb. 7 and the new Febs are here.
In my second class today, my sociology professor asked, "Why did you come to Middlebury College?" The question at hand was a question I had often been asked by friends and relations from my hometown, sunny Los Angeles. This was indeed my second class, which meant that I had survived the first and in all likelihood would survive the second.